Anti-Mpreg Post. We saw it comin'...
Jun. 14th, 2006 12:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shamanicshayminOkay... let's fight off this strange mood with a rant. Hopefully I'll make it in time for bed.
Dear Yaoidom,
WHY are you suddenly obsessed with mpreg? WHY!? I mean to the point where it's like the friggin' latest fad. If sources tell me right about Kingdom Hearts fandom, you have your girly uke Sora weeping 4 hiz twu wuv Riku and OMG KIARI IZ A BITCH I H8 HER SHEZ A HOMOPH0BIK HOR--out of every three Sora/Riku, one of them is mpreg. KH and KH2 definitely make for one HUGE fandom, so you know. It's like, the latest Harry Potter or FMA right now. Which makes for a hell lotta giggly fangirls and their mpreg.
I'd go on about the absolute WRETCHED horror and the deep-seed hatred I hold for Sonadow.com, but that's best saved for another rant. But yeah. When the fangirls aren't jacking off (to be blunt) on their hideous OOC Sonadow Pr0n, they're having Sonic pop babies, 'cause he's OBVIOUSLY the girly one. *HOMICIDAL TROGDOR BURNINATE STAMPEDE* I have little knowledge of Pyramid Head from Silent Hill, but considering the stuff I heard, someone needs to be brave enough to send that guy the hell over there.
Makes me wanna shout to those 13-year-old fanbrats "HEY! You ever been PREGNANT before!?"
It's... I don't get it. I don't understand it. And I never will. Especially me, being a girl--who wants to BE pregnant? Okay, so most of this stems from personal reasons: pregnancy in any and all forms squicks me. Doesn't LOOK pretty, and going through it is even worse. It's... I know this is how we're born. But pregnancy speaks as a form of parasitism to me. Before I get pitchforks thrown in my direction and things get heated up, I'll just sum this up really quickly. Pregnancy, for some odd reason, makes me uncomfortable. I usually turn away when it's mentioned in television or movies, and it just... ugh. When it's included as a major plot point, I tend to just roll my eyes and be all "Oh, DRAMATIZE" whenever someone's sobbing over a miscarriage or something. It's--I don't like this sorta stuff. So I mention it very rarely, if at all.
Hate to sound like a wanker, but eh. One thing that makes yaoi... "different" (Bad word, I know. I'm NOT saying it's better than het or yuri obviously. Heaven forbid. *shudder*) is that, you know... guys can't get pregnant. oO;;; So Puri's all "YAY~!" for that. So here comes mpreg, and that just... completely "misses the point" in a way. Of course, it also serves to boggle Puri's brain in more ways than one. And seriously. The way the fangirls TRY to get one of the boys pregnant makes me humongoidly wonder if they passed Biology. Whenever I think of male pregnancy (Oxymoron! *cough*), I always think of alien spawn. Since there's no uterus for them to grow in, why not go in the next best thing, and feed off inside their stomach before busting out and finally killing the sickly sweaty pale-green guy "host" via "Alien"? Sounds disgusting, doesn't it? I can assure you, there's even more whacked-out squicky theories on what would happen if man tried giving birth. (Including what people call the "assbabies" theory. Which I am NOT going into)
Squick aside, mpreg is a bloody excuse enforce the seme/uke stereotype even more. If you thought Sonic and Sora were girly and cooing and lovey-dovey enough in regular slash to make Barbie cringe, in mpreg it's QUADRUPLE TIMES THE TORTURE TEN BILLION. 'Cause you know, pregnancy is about as maternal as you can get. Say goodbye to whatever little semblance or dignity they have left--they're bawling Padme*Tears for their Quadruple Times Ten Billion testosterone-pumped (to the point where steroids huddle in the corner and shudder) dark jerks more Studly Seme than ever, 'cause OMG. THEIR GONNA BE DADDY. And the baby! Don't get started on the drama with the baby! DOES SHADOW CARE 4 DA BABY OR WILL HE ABANDON MEEEEE? (MY KOI I THOUGHT U CAR3D!!11!) OH NOES RIKU WHAT IF I HAVE TO GET AN ABORTION!? O RIKU AISHITERU I CANT FATHOM THE THOUGHT OF LOSING OUR BABY ILL CRY
You see where this is going? Obviously Puri can't take this shit.
Oh yeah, and the male seahorse thing? I hate to burst your bubble here, but if my biology memory recalls, the FEMALE deposits the eggs, and makes the guy carry 'em. Come back when you can tell me an actual male animal LAYS the eggs, and maybe I'll raise an eyebrow. Come up with something other than the seahorse, too.
Go to Hell,
Puri
P.S: If ya want your slash ship to have kids THAT badly, here's a catch: the orphans in China would appreciate a loving home instead of earning small pay playing Pokémon Emerald for spoiled rich kids in America who are too damn lazy to work at building his own team. 'Cause *GASP* it requires playing! And effort!
Dear Yaoidom,
WHY are you suddenly obsessed with mpreg? WHY!? I mean to the point where it's like the friggin' latest fad. If sources tell me right about Kingdom Hearts fandom, you have your girly uke Sora weeping 4 hiz twu wuv Riku and OMG KIARI IZ A BITCH I H8 HER SHEZ A HOMOPH0BIK HOR--out of every three Sora/Riku, one of them is mpreg. KH and KH2 definitely make for one HUGE fandom, so you know. It's like, the latest Harry Potter or FMA right now. Which makes for a hell lotta giggly fangirls and their mpreg.
I'd go on about the absolute WRETCHED horror and the deep-seed hatred I hold for Sonadow.com, but that's best saved for another rant. But yeah. When the fangirls aren't jacking off (to be blunt) on their hideous OOC Sonadow Pr0n, they're having Sonic pop babies, 'cause he's OBVIOUSLY the girly one. *HOMICIDAL TROGDOR BURNINATE STAMPEDE* I have little knowledge of Pyramid Head from Silent Hill, but considering the stuff I heard, someone needs to be brave enough to send that guy the hell over there.
Makes me wanna shout to those 13-year-old fanbrats "HEY! You ever been PREGNANT before!?"
It's... I don't get it. I don't understand it. And I never will. Especially me, being a girl--who wants to BE pregnant? Okay, so most of this stems from personal reasons: pregnancy in any and all forms squicks me. Doesn't LOOK pretty, and going through it is even worse. It's... I know this is how we're born. But pregnancy speaks as a form of parasitism to me. Before I get pitchforks thrown in my direction and things get heated up, I'll just sum this up really quickly. Pregnancy, for some odd reason, makes me uncomfortable. I usually turn away when it's mentioned in television or movies, and it just... ugh. When it's included as a major plot point, I tend to just roll my eyes and be all "Oh, DRAMATIZE" whenever someone's sobbing over a miscarriage or something. It's--I don't like this sorta stuff. So I mention it very rarely, if at all.
Hate to sound like a wanker, but eh. One thing that makes yaoi... "different" (Bad word, I know. I'm NOT saying it's better than het or yuri obviously. Heaven forbid. *shudder*) is that, you know... guys can't get pregnant. oO;;; So Puri's all "YAY~!" for that. So here comes mpreg, and that just... completely "misses the point" in a way. Of course, it also serves to boggle Puri's brain in more ways than one. And seriously. The way the fangirls TRY to get one of the boys pregnant makes me humongoidly wonder if they passed Biology. Whenever I think of male pregnancy (Oxymoron! *cough*), I always think of alien spawn. Since there's no uterus for them to grow in, why not go in the next best thing, and feed off inside their stomach before busting out and finally killing the sickly sweaty pale-green guy "host" via "Alien"? Sounds disgusting, doesn't it? I can assure you, there's even more whacked-out squicky theories on what would happen if man tried giving birth. (Including what people call the "assbabies" theory. Which I am NOT going into)
Squick aside, mpreg is a bloody excuse enforce the seme/uke stereotype even more. If you thought Sonic and Sora were girly and cooing and lovey-dovey enough in regular slash to make Barbie cringe, in mpreg it's QUADRUPLE TIMES THE TORTURE TEN BILLION. 'Cause you know, pregnancy is about as maternal as you can get. Say goodbye to whatever little semblance or dignity they have left--they're bawling Padme*Tears for their Quadruple Times Ten Billion testosterone-pumped (to the point where steroids huddle in the corner and shudder) dark jerks more Studly Seme than ever, 'cause OMG. THEIR GONNA BE DADDY. And the baby! Don't get started on the drama with the baby! DOES SHADOW CARE 4 DA BABY OR WILL HE ABANDON MEEEEE? (MY KOI I THOUGHT U CAR3D!!11!) OH NOES RIKU WHAT IF I HAVE TO GET AN ABORTION!? O RIKU AISHITERU I CANT FATHOM THE THOUGHT OF LOSING OUR BABY ILL CRY
You see where this is going? Obviously Puri can't take this shit.
Oh yeah, and the male seahorse thing? I hate to burst your bubble here, but if my biology memory recalls, the FEMALE deposits the eggs, and makes the guy carry 'em. Come back when you can tell me an actual male animal LAYS the eggs, and maybe I'll raise an eyebrow. Come up with something other than the seahorse, too.
Go to Hell,
Puri
P.S: If ya want your slash ship to have kids THAT badly, here's a catch: the orphans in China would appreciate a loving home instead of earning small pay playing Pokémon Emerald for spoiled rich kids in America who are too damn lazy to work at building his own team. 'Cause *GASP* it requires playing! And effort!
