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Dec. 31st, 2005 03:22 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shamanicshayminToday was a wonderful day.
I learned how to make colorbars. I discussed a little memory with a friend. Friends gathered at my LJ, and with fun conversation, made friends with each other. (I too made a new friend, which always makes me happy. *nodnod*) I finally finished my Challenge*Sentences, and so far people are adoring them--I even inspired a drabble. :3 A lot of interesting topics and meme fun went on in my FList, and I had such a good time commenting on everyone's pages. (People from other journals liked my icons too, hee hee~ And wow, on the Character*Meme everyone is taking, Shadow's not being #3 aka "The character everyone loves but me. :o" catagory as much anymore! XDDD;;) I got a friend excited about PxL, so that makes me giddy and uppity and wanting to play more M&L2 tomorrow. I took care of some dental issues with my brace and such, cleaned the sink (and counters a little), and had Dad wash the sheets so I could make my bed... overall, I was ready to curl up under the sheets and have a good night's sleep to a perfect day.
...So I would've anyway.
Seriously, I tried to sleep through my sister and Dad SCREAMING at each other from the living room, just waiting for them to shut up and go to bed so I could finally sleep... but it didn't, and it only got worse as Dad was going about The Miserable Past he went through when we were at foster care, and how OMG HORRIBLE & EVIL my grandparents are and that OMG THEY MANIPULATED YOU CHLOE and OMG I'VE GOT _____ SYNDROME MEANING SOMETHING TRAUMATIC HAS HAPPENED TO ME THAT HAS FIXED ME FOR LIFE and refuses to let these past events go... I didn't want to hear about these things. I didn't want to hear about them after having such a wonderful day with my friends, and... I honestly didn't want to be reminded how I can't seem to trust my relatives anymore even if OMGthey'remyfamily and how spiteful and horrible my dad can be, and... it hurts.
Finally, after just lying there, I went over to the computer, crying as I waited for it to boot. I figured I needed LJ in a time like this. So basically now, I'm checking and rechecking my flist, and dad & sis cooled down to normal conversation, though they're obviously still talking and sister's still upset. They'll 'prolly start fighting again anyway, I've felt it several times. I know I've said it for the ten billionth time in my LJ, but... I don't belong here. I need to get out of here and into college. I've certainly taken a liking of words, lately. I'm learning Spanish, I could learn German & Japanese & Hawaiian and such if I want. Heck, I feel like I love language more than my own mother and father, actually. (Though my mom's somewhat redeemed lately... but only somewhat) I know it bugs some of you to read that, but I can't help but feel it might be true sometimes.
...It's almost 3 A.M. I never wanted to stay up past 12-1. Of course, when my schedule becomes horribly fucked over and I become a zombie again, all Dad would offer is a humongoid apology followed with sweet words, how OMG-we're-gonna-be-better-I-promise and all the good/quixotic stuff he won't even follow through and is only saying it to make me pity him and quit scolding my-poor-father-omg... and I'd believe him. I do. I did believe he would change, and he actually did, in a little way. He managed to get his job back.
Greg, he writes letters and burns his CDs
They say you were something in those formative years
Well, hold onto nothing as fast as you can
Well, still... pretty good year
Pretty good year...
Pretty much sums the day up. Albeit, it's a little embarressing posting a bit of the lyrics of this song here. ^^;;; Sis warned me against listening to Tori Amos 'cause a majority of her lyrics were scary and that "you'll be emotionally SCREWED oO;;;;" or something like that, but then, I think she said that a few years ago--occured to me how slowly I'm maturing and all, though albeit I'm still young and stupid, and pretty much a wuss. XDDD;;; Kind of like a baby bird poked outta the nest, ya know? I don't care much about the hinted boyfriend stuff in the song, but the rest of it is pretty neat, and the piano is pleasant to listen to--the sudden mood-swing near the end made me jump while hearing it the first time, but hey, gives me another reason to be hopelessly addicted to the song.
REALLY bad for fanfics, though. Guh, that was disaster. @.@ *shudder*
I like crazy piano. XDD;;; But then again, I guess I'm a sucker for piano music in general... nobody likes Pure*Piano arrangements and such but me, though. People think it's boring, but I find it pretty. :o
I'm gonna try sleeping again, or this'll kill me in the morning. I like waking up early morning fully rested. :( Time to cuddle with my stuffed animals and plushies again, including Shadow... good ol' Shadow. Shadow Shadow Shadow~ I think he's graying up in a few areas lately though, like his gloves, eyes and muzzle... I want him to stay bright, shiny and clean instead of moldy, icky, and torn apart for years to come, I want him to last. At least his tuft's still in good condition, and it's easy to comb/smooth it out with just my finger. :) ...Good lords, I'm talking about my Shadow doll, at a time like this... I'm such a fangirl. XDD;;;
Good night... hope to see you guys tomorrow so we can celebrate the New Year together~
I learned how to make colorbars. I discussed a little memory with a friend. Friends gathered at my LJ, and with fun conversation, made friends with each other. (I too made a new friend, which always makes me happy. *nodnod*) I finally finished my Challenge*Sentences, and so far people are adoring them--I even inspired a drabble. :3 A lot of interesting topics and meme fun went on in my FList, and I had such a good time commenting on everyone's pages. (People from other journals liked my icons too, hee hee~ And wow, on the Character*Meme everyone is taking, Shadow's not being #3 aka "The character everyone loves but me. :o" catagory as much anymore! XDDD;;) I got a friend excited about PxL, so that makes me giddy and uppity and wanting to play more M&L2 tomorrow. I took care of some dental issues with my brace and such, cleaned the sink (and counters a little), and had Dad wash the sheets so I could make my bed... overall, I was ready to curl up under the sheets and have a good night's sleep to a perfect day.
...So I would've anyway.
Seriously, I tried to sleep through my sister and Dad SCREAMING at each other from the living room, just waiting for them to shut up and go to bed so I could finally sleep... but it didn't, and it only got worse as Dad was going about The Miserable Past he went through when we were at foster care, and how OMG HORRIBLE & EVIL my grandparents are and that OMG THEY MANIPULATED YOU CHLOE and OMG I'VE GOT _____ SYNDROME MEANING SOMETHING TRAUMATIC HAS HAPPENED TO ME THAT HAS FIXED ME FOR LIFE and refuses to let these past events go... I didn't want to hear about these things. I didn't want to hear about them after having such a wonderful day with my friends, and... I honestly didn't want to be reminded how I can't seem to trust my relatives anymore even if OMGthey'remyfamily and how spiteful and horrible my dad can be, and... it hurts.
Finally, after just lying there, I went over to the computer, crying as I waited for it to boot. I figured I needed LJ in a time like this. So basically now, I'm checking and rechecking my flist, and dad & sis cooled down to normal conversation, though they're obviously still talking and sister's still upset. They'll 'prolly start fighting again anyway, I've felt it several times. I know I've said it for the ten billionth time in my LJ, but... I don't belong here. I need to get out of here and into college. I've certainly taken a liking of words, lately. I'm learning Spanish, I could learn German & Japanese & Hawaiian and such if I want. Heck, I feel like I love language more than my own mother and father, actually. (Though my mom's somewhat redeemed lately... but only somewhat) I know it bugs some of you to read that, but I can't help but feel it might be true sometimes.
...It's almost 3 A.M. I never wanted to stay up past 12-1. Of course, when my schedule becomes horribly fucked over and I become a zombie again, all Dad would offer is a humongoid apology followed with sweet words, how OMG-we're-gonna-be-better-I-promise and all the good/quixotic stuff he won't even follow through and is only saying it to make me pity him and quit scolding my-poor-father-omg... and I'd believe him. I do. I did believe he would change, and he actually did, in a little way. He managed to get his job back.
Greg, he writes letters and burns his CDs
They say you were something in those formative years
Well, hold onto nothing as fast as you can
Well, still... pretty good year
Pretty good year...
Pretty much sums the day up. Albeit, it's a little embarressing posting a bit of the lyrics of this song here. ^^;;; Sis warned me against listening to Tori Amos 'cause a majority of her lyrics were scary and that "you'll be emotionally SCREWED oO;;;;" or something like that, but then, I think she said that a few years ago--occured to me how slowly I'm maturing and all, though albeit I'm still young and stupid, and pretty much a wuss. XDDD;;; Kind of like a baby bird poked outta the nest, ya know? I don't care much about the hinted boyfriend stuff in the song, but the rest of it is pretty neat, and the piano is pleasant to listen to--the sudden mood-swing near the end made me jump while hearing it the first time, but hey, gives me another reason to be hopelessly addicted to the song.
REALLY bad for fanfics, though. Guh, that was disaster. @.@ *shudder*
I like crazy piano. XDD;;; But then again, I guess I'm a sucker for piano music in general... nobody likes Pure*Piano arrangements and such but me, though. People think it's boring, but I find it pretty. :o
I'm gonna try sleeping again, or this'll kill me in the morning. I like waking up early morning fully rested. :( Time to cuddle with my stuffed animals and plushies again, including Shadow... good ol' Shadow. Shadow Shadow Shadow~ I think he's graying up in a few areas lately though, like his gloves, eyes and muzzle... I want him to stay bright, shiny and clean instead of moldy, icky, and torn apart for years to come, I want him to last. At least his tuft's still in good condition, and it's easy to comb/smooth it out with just my finger. :) ...Good lords, I'm talking about my Shadow doll, at a time like this... I'm such a fangirl. XDD;;;
Good night... hope to see you guys tomorrow so we can celebrate the New Year together~
