Jan. 12th, 2013

shamanicshaymin: Glorious beautiful Shaymin against a flowery backdrop. (Rarity :: Wangst)
Next time I see my psychologist, I think I'm going to ask him about therapy regarding verbal abuse. If there's some sort of support group I can go to.

Because I'm sick and tired of being told that Mom is mentally ill and "this isn't her real self" (I am well aware of that) and that "she's going to get better." Nobody should have to tolerate the sort of treatment she's been giving me, bipolar disorder or not. Even worse is when my sister tells me I have to "understand" and not be so spiteful towards her (when Mom has blown up at me and held grudges even when I had the patience of a thousand saints), and now my little brother has been spoonfed all of Mom's delusions and tells me "you shouldn't hurt Mom's feelings!" He blames me for Mom's terrible moodswings even though she's constantly made me cry without me initiating anything. He doesn't get it. And no matter how hard I try to explain to him, I shouldn't be hurting Mom's precious feelings, nevermind that my own have been shattered constantly.

I'm tired of trying to emphasize with someone who disregards my feelings and stomps all over me long after I've begged her over and over again to stop. I'm tired of being forced to "understand" a woman who is selfish and lashes out at me and Dad because she's disappointed in herself. I'm tired of being a victim, and be told I must sympathize with my perpetrator. This is not okay.

In short, I'm sick of feeling like shit, then being told it's my fault and that the "real victim" is my Mom. That's the impression I'm getting from the rest of my family, anyway. Even my well-intentioned Dad doesn't want me to resent her. Is it really such a crime to be angry at a family member? And no, I am NOT ready to forgive. (And yes, I know what forgiveness means. Letting go and moving on with life instead of pretending everything is hunky-dory, etc.) Not if the abuse is going to happen again. And you sure as hell don't rush forgiveness.

Profile

shamanicshaymin: Glorious beautiful Shaymin against a flowery backdrop. (Default)
Puri

May 2025

S M T W T F S
    12 3
456 78910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031

Most Popular Tags

Page Summary

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jun. 5th, 2025 01:19 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios