Gay subtext makes Puri happy~

Okay, so I'm still feeling blue. Now I'm flipping through my new Raggedy Ann books and skimming a little when I come across a book with Raggedy Andy engaging in swordfights (FUCK YEAH) and um... traveling with a knight on "sword-back." I'm not kidding about this. There's pictures of him riding on a giant sword. :o

Then I read an early passage and... omgomgomg. Raggedy Andy is the cutest gay boy ever. ;;

( This snippet makes me five years old again, but the wrong kind of five years old. )

*brb reading out of order and going straight to Raggedy Ann's Lucky Pennies*

*Or be depressed again. Or go back to bed. Whichever comes first*

What is life and good taste? Baby don't hurt me...

My thought process: Puri sucks.

I get my first letter from Long Ridge regarding my first assignment. My first opportunity for success, and what do I do? Freak out. Because all I can think about is "You get a chance to go forward like you've always dreamed of! WATCH AS YOU FUCK IT UP AND FAIL AT THE LAST POSSIBLE MINUTE."

My god. When has my confidence in myself shot so downhill? When have I become so terrified of success? Because I think I'll have every opportunity, no matter how small, to completely waste it due to my own shortcomings?

This is not a good attitude to have, I know. But lately, all I can feel is, "You're screwed." It's like the only thing I can believe about myself is criticism. That every negative thing said about me is true. Augh gagahg. I don't even. Just what's up with me?