shamanicshaymin | (no subject) (Reply)

So. I've been misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder and throughout the months, my parents have been helping me ween off of Lithium. Good, because I never had a "manic" state like my mom has (doesn't help the doctor made a mistake since they thought if Mom was bipolar, her daughter must be too!) and Lithium does weird things to the memory. You know what you're going to say, but when you go to say it, your mind suddenly blanks and you forget what it was. It's been like that sometimes when I try to remember lyrics to a song I want to sing and suddenly can't remember the next words though it was at the tip of my tongue, and that worried me immensely. That, and the longer you take Lithium, the more memory you lose. Add that to the misdiagnosis. Yeah, what lovely news to learn.

So I've been off Lithium longer than I should, taking only Zoloft (which I do need for depression) and I've been doing just fine. It's been two days ago I took a Lithium, and now I'm irritated as hell without knowing why. I don't like it and I have a feeling it's a side effect. I hope so. Because I don't like feeling this way. I told Dad this and he told me I didn't need Lithium anymore. I knew it. So now I have to wait for the anger that was hopefully caused by the Lithium to get out of my bloodstream. Gods I hope so.

I feel cynical and disgusted and I hate being this way. I'm going to shower because I feel icky. My bedsheets probably need washing too and guh, I feel disgusting. Nothing is making me feel happy, serving only to make me even more irritated. Ugh.