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shamanicshaymin
Dear World: I am alive. Exhausted, but alive. And home. *cliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing*
LJ's odd in a way. I think in my head a kajillion things to say, but then I access the computer, and boooooooooooooooooom. I'm too tired and burnt-out to type anything. XDDD!
First off, THANK YOU to everyone who commented on my journal when I spoke of suicide. For looking out for me. For trying to contact me. For calling my sister. I managed to speak with Greg (Sully), Hedgiepan and Philleh--everyone else who tried to get a hold of me, like Jennifer and Sipp, I'll see if I can get your calls as soon as possible. I'm home now--there's no barriers to go through this time. I also want to thank the people who visited my journal--even if we hadn't met or known each other well, your concern meant a LOT to me and made me touched. Just... thank you everyone. A Japanese proverb says a kind word warms three winter months, but with everyone's comments, the rest of my entire life is lit with summer.
So, how was the hospital? Well I'll tell you it's nothing like One Flew Over the Cukkoo's Nest, so nothing bad or evil happened. XDD;;; It was just, in a word, reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally REALLY BORING. You see, there is a "level system" at the place. A day passes and if you behave well, the next day you get to do more activities like gym and choosing from a buffet in the cafeteria. (The regular food is really gross too. Cold sandwiches and chicken dunked in this pukeish-yellow fluid? Yum yum. *BLEEEEEGH* Doesn't help you REALLY get sick of grahm crackers after having 'em day after day after day... @.@;;;; XPPP) Otherwise? All you do is lounge around in your rooms. Even when you've got books with you and papers to write? (You have to ask for a pencil though, and ONLY at specific times)? It's insane. After a long while, it'll drive you to cabin fever in .578677376837643 seconds. You get burnt out really quickly, I'm serious. @.@;;;
Most of the kids are nice, though. (A lotta 'em were girls, though--I expected more boys for some reason, but there were only around three among a group of eight girls. XDD;;;) Some were here for depression like I was, though most everyone was here for anger management problems. (And listening to them, I used to think I was bad with anger issues. @.@;;; They actually scream insults and a couple kids literally hit someone in their family and acted like it was a normal thing) One girl used to cut up her arm when she got mad--she shown us her scars and sure enough, there were a buncha little slits over her skin. ("They're still healing: I just picked the scabs off today.") oO;;; Thanks to all the ol' Emo Kid jokes online, I must say that girl's arm caught me offguard. oO;;; My roomate was nice: her name was Elizabeth, and she was really kind and did a lotta favors for me like turning the lights on and off and she was cool. ^^ There was another girl named Rachel, and she literally cried a lot: she's very sweet though, like teddy-bear squashy "peek-a-boo" sweet. ^^ (I think she was rescued from overdose... I could be wrong though. But I do recall her recollecting she was losing feeling in her legs and trying to get help: her friends came JUST in time--any later, she would've been dead)
Apparently, I became popular among everyone 'cause on my first day, I sang in my room to pass the time... and apparently, everyone heard me. XDD;;; They were like "ZOMG YOU'RE SO GOOD" and wanted me to sing for them. So I sang "Possession" by Sarah McLachlan to start the karayoke, and made Rachel cry. XDDD;;; (She later asked me who wrote the song so she could write it down, and I, of course, gladly told her. :3) Then I sang a song which I felt sure EVERYONE knew: "Bring Me to Life" by Evanescence. I screwed up a line, but kept going anyway like a decent performer would, and again, there was applause. "OMG I LOVE THAT SONG AND YOU SUNG IT PERFECTLY~~!" "YOU SOUNDED JUST LIKE HER! :D:D:D" I must say, that really boosted me up and felt like a million bucks. ^^;;;
Today was Rachel's birthday, so before she and I left, I sang her NIN's "The Fragile" (I won't let you fall apart...) and made her really happy. ^^
Now I'm... home. AND NO LONGER BORED. *_______________________________* Now there just seems like there's so much for me out there, like life has a billion things to offer me. I'm glad to have everything back: my computer, my friends, my parents, my dogs (Amanda and The World's Stupidest
And I still sigh happily when Shadow wakes up at the beginning of the Dark Story. By the time he finishes telling Eggman he'll meet him aboard Space Colony ARK, she melted in a puddle of fangirl goo.
I'll say it again:
THANK YOU EVERYBODY~~! ♥♥♥♥♥
