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shamanicshayminHuh. Being angry, I obviously said some stuff I didn't really mean. Like Marth and Roy being a bore. 'Cause you know. She'd never get sick of a character because of fandom. But I don't want to ramble off-topic. See, whenever Puri tries to be hard-core and mighty and proud (even, should I hesistate and shudder from much despise, "elitist"ish), the "image" immediately shatters and her true side shows; Puri is a softie at heart. She can't sound bitter and jaded and mean it. 'Cause you know, something happens to make her squee or excited again.
KH2 provided me a MUCH needed break from the computer. Chances I'll be gone most of today (when it's daylight, that is) and tomorrow, 'cause I'll be busy playing it. Haha, and to think that video games didn't interest me anymore. Fooling myself YET again. (Played NSMB longer and longer and longer than I thought I would. How's that for "nothing excites me anymore" Puri Mode?) After reaching the 5th Day on Twilight Town (and already liking Roxas quite a bit), I went to bed at 1 AM, but snuggled in bed pretty happy, feeling more refreshed and looking forward to things for once.
3 AM. Dad, Mom & Sis wake me up in a hurtful argument. Obviously, I can't shut them out. Obviously, I'm crying. Obviously, I'm scared for a bunch of things I don't want to list.
See? This is one of the sort of things why I don't want children. So they don't have to put up with this crap I have to right now.
Is it so much to ask for, that I want to be somewhere else right now? God knows I've talked about the Rockies over and over this summer. But I don't want people to yell at me, "OMG YOU WHINY BITCH YOU'RE JUST RUNNING AWAY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS". Well, what the heck am I supposed to do!? I've managed my time, I dragged my way through, it didn't work. YOU try being in a household where your Mom is mentally ill, your dad's having problems and most likely snapped, your sister's home from college and already her parents are giving her a hard time, and your brother's pulling outta anorexia and pretty much all he does is watch TV or play video games. Then there's me. Who goes online. Is obviously depressed and been fighting it for months and months, and just when I think I'm pulling myself together, start thinking I have a future again, this sort of crap keeps happening.
Highlight to read: So is it any wonder I delve online more than I should? That little problems that shouldn't bother me much send me on a screeching rampage like something offensive? 'Cause let's say... you post a rant in your LJ about how much *insertsomethingPuriobviouslylikes* sucks. Include all the stuff like "I hate ______'s fangirls so now I'm sick of ______" and "Maybe if _____ x _____ had decent fanfiction, I'd start liking it again" and fandom-not-canon biased stuff that makes Puri angry. If Puri were any normal, she wouldn't remember or even know the post existed. (Albeit, with a teeny note in the back of her head to remind self not to mention a certain something around said friend) But Puri back from the past year or even the recent past months? She'd likely read the post like the masochist she is, get furious, and resist the urge to throttle said person or friend in a barrage of rants and speeches. (Despite, you know, ME being the idiot and choosing to read it) 'Cause you know, the stuff makes Puri happy. Keeps her sane when her family isn't. Without something to cling to, where the heck is Puri? I know it's wrong to attack people for their opinions, and you KNOW that I wouldn't do that to you guys. Heck, I'm surprised you guys haven't screeched at me yet for mine.
I have to sleep. It's 4 AM, and I'm obviously hurt. But is it worth more to stay to play KH2 or go to the neighbor's house as Dad says I could?
KH2 provided me a MUCH needed break from the computer. Chances I'll be gone most of today (when it's daylight, that is) and tomorrow, 'cause I'll be busy playing it. Haha, and to think that video games didn't interest me anymore. Fooling myself YET again. (Played NSMB longer and longer and longer than I thought I would. How's that for "nothing excites me anymore" Puri Mode?) After reaching the 5th Day on Twilight Town (and already liking Roxas quite a bit), I went to bed at 1 AM, but snuggled in bed pretty happy, feeling more refreshed and looking forward to things for once.
3 AM. Dad, Mom & Sis wake me up in a hurtful argument. Obviously, I can't shut them out. Obviously, I'm crying. Obviously, I'm scared for a bunch of things I don't want to list.
See? This is one of the sort of things why I don't want children. So they don't have to put up with this crap I have to right now.
Is it so much to ask for, that I want to be somewhere else right now? God knows I've talked about the Rockies over and over this summer. But I don't want people to yell at me, "OMG YOU WHINY BITCH YOU'RE JUST RUNNING AWAY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS". Well, what the heck am I supposed to do!? I've managed my time, I dragged my way through, it didn't work. YOU try being in a household where your Mom is mentally ill, your dad's having problems and most likely snapped, your sister's home from college and already her parents are giving her a hard time, and your brother's pulling outta anorexia and pretty much all he does is watch TV or play video games. Then there's me. Who goes online. Is obviously depressed and been fighting it for months and months, and just when I think I'm pulling myself together, start thinking I have a future again, this sort of crap keeps happening.
Highlight to read: So is it any wonder I delve online more than I should? That little problems that shouldn't bother me much send me on a screeching rampage like something offensive? 'Cause let's say... you post a rant in your LJ about how much *insertsomethingPuriobviouslylikes* sucks. Include all the stuff like "I hate ______'s fangirls so now I'm sick of ______" and "Maybe if _____ x _____ had decent fanfiction, I'd start liking it again" and fandom-not-canon biased stuff that makes Puri angry. If Puri were any normal, she wouldn't remember or even know the post existed. (Albeit, with a teeny note in the back of her head to remind self not to mention a certain something around said friend) But Puri back from the past year or even the recent past months? She'd likely read the post like the masochist she is, get furious, and resist the urge to throttle said person or friend in a barrage of rants and speeches. (Despite, you know, ME being the idiot and choosing to read it) 'Cause you know, the stuff makes Puri happy. Keeps her sane when her family isn't. Without something to cling to, where the heck is Puri? I know it's wrong to attack people for their opinions, and you KNOW that I wouldn't do that to you guys. Heck, I'm surprised you guys haven't screeched at me yet for mine.
I have to sleep. It's 4 AM, and I'm obviously hurt. But is it worth more to stay to play KH2 or go to the neighbor's house as Dad says I could?
