(no subject)
Mar. 17th, 2006 11:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shamanicshayminI wish I wasn't so worthless without the Internet.
*freakoutfreakoutfreakoutfreakoutfreakoutfreakoutfreakout*
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... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
*freakoutfreakoutfreakoutfreakoutfreakoutfreakoutfreakout*
I remember the days when I was pure, had heart, had energy, didn't care what anyone else thought, laughed off what bothered her.
Now it's like I'm scared. Frantic. I can't even fully relax anymore. It feels like it's never enough. 'Cause of that, whatever I'm good at has gone completely down the drain. Whatever happened? I was surprised at how few icons I've made for sharing; then if I do make something, it's for me. I think my writing's going rushed or has the voice of an insomniac coworker trying to catch a dime, not a kid with a magical sense of imagination who loved telling stories. It's no wonder I barely seem to do anything creative these days; I'm always constantly getting angry or stressed. Mainly over stupid people and things that I shouldn't bother reading online in the first place, 'cause they upset me. They cloud my thoughts and once you get Puri riled over something, she's pretty lost. It's like, I shouldn't bother. I shouldn't bother.
I need to sleep, we have to go to Six Flags tomorrow.
Ye gods, it's like the only time I feel decent is when I'm writing or doing icons. 'Cause basically, they're all I'm really good at. But even then, I'm upset, 'cause it feels like miles away I'd be able to speak for myself and be at peace. Cut myself off and I'm gone. Worthless. I still have no clue what's wrong with me, but I'm in no position to think. No position to think. No position to think.
So much for Spring Break.
Raise your hand if you thought 2005*Puri was better than 2006*Puri.Least she actually WORKED on her stupid "secret" fic instead of glancing at it with paranoia and contempt.
*freakoutfreakoutfreakoutfreakoutfreakoutfreakoutfreakout*
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
*freakoutfreakoutfreakoutfreakoutfreakoutfreakoutfreakout*
I remember the days when I was pure, had heart, had energy, didn't care what anyone else thought, laughed off what bothered her.
Now it's like I'm scared. Frantic. I can't even fully relax anymore. It feels like it's never enough. 'Cause of that, whatever I'm good at has gone completely down the drain. Whatever happened? I was surprised at how few icons I've made for sharing; then if I do make something, it's for me. I think my writing's going rushed or has the voice of an insomniac coworker trying to catch a dime, not a kid with a magical sense of imagination who loved telling stories. It's no wonder I barely seem to do anything creative these days; I'm always constantly getting angry or stressed. Mainly over stupid people and things that I shouldn't bother reading online in the first place, 'cause they upset me. They cloud my thoughts and once you get Puri riled over something, she's pretty lost. It's like, I shouldn't bother. I shouldn't bother.
I need to sleep, we have to go to Six Flags tomorrow.
Ye gods, it's like the only time I feel decent is when I'm writing or doing icons. 'Cause basically, they're all I'm really good at. But even then, I'm upset, 'cause it feels like miles away I'd be able to speak for myself and be at peace. Cut myself off and I'm gone. Worthless. I still have no clue what's wrong with me, but I'm in no position to think. No position to think. No position to think.
So much for Spring Break.
Raise your hand if you thought 2005*Puri was better than 2006*Puri.
