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Oct. 6th, 2005 07:46 pm*whiiiiiiiine* I dunwanna go to school Fridaaaaaaaaaaay~ @.@
Oct. 6th, 2005
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Oct. 6th, 2005 11:12 pm( Short Fangirl Outburst, Sparing You All )
And to make way for a completely different mood, I feel like shit right now. Like... I dunno. Well, one thing that's bugging is... well, it'll take forever to explain. And I'll get a buncha stares and such. So, in a nutshell...
...Am I trying too hard to grow up? It feels like a friggin' torment I'm not 18 years old yet--still have quite a bit of months to go. Yet, I don't want to feel like I've been robbed, either... and people tell me being old isn't as great as it sounds. Yet, people take you more seriously when you're an adult over a wangsting teenager.
Do I feel like the only 17-year-old who feels, well... let's just say, in Spanish today. I recited a tongue-twister really quickly--twice, for the teacher. I was never good at tongue-twisters unless I was screwing up, and well... that was an accomplishment for me, and I was surprised myself. So, the teacher played an old folk song for us, a traditional Spanish song to sing before the birthday person woke up for the morning. We were asked to sing back the song, following the lyrics written on the sheet. And like... was I the only one who actually sang for the song? Go figure, I know I'm in Choir, but even I wouldn't be that enthusiastic about such things--but seriously. The students around me--usually you get dull "noooo, I dunwanna do this" kinda singing and whatnot, but it's like... yeah. The kids aren't even trying. You couldn't even hear them. Hell, they even just sat around class and talked and giggled.
Wow, so much for me. I'm the only one who actually follows the assignment. So what if you can't sing? I would've done it anyway. Which lead me to wonder, 'cause I was suddenly reminded of infamous QoR fic Thrill of Defeat: where oh, it was more important and wonderful for Jessie to be James's Twu Wuv than grow up to be a nurse and do wonderful things and, you know... be good at something useful. I wanted to blurt this out loud for all the brats to hear: ( Excuse My Blunt TMI, But I'm Not Sugar-Coating My Thoughts )
Of course, that would result in the class laughing and making fun of me, (And going "OOOOOOH! REFERAAAAALLL" and stuff like that) and I'd especially be in trouble with the teacher wether or not I had the guts to say the striked comment, although I know for certain I'm not... crass like that. Yeah. Ye gods, my language. I think I'll scare people I care about like this. See what I mean about "growing up too fast"?
I know I'm not clear enough... but at least NIN keeps me sane.
And to make way for a completely different mood, I feel like shit right now. Like... I dunno. Well, one thing that's bugging is... well, it'll take forever to explain. And I'll get a buncha stares and such. So, in a nutshell...
...Am I trying too hard to grow up? It feels like a friggin' torment I'm not 18 years old yet--still have quite a bit of months to go. Yet, I don't want to feel like I've been robbed, either... and people tell me being old isn't as great as it sounds. Yet, people take you more seriously when you're an adult over a wangsting teenager.
Do I feel like the only 17-year-old who feels, well... let's just say, in Spanish today. I recited a tongue-twister really quickly--twice, for the teacher. I was never good at tongue-twisters unless I was screwing up, and well... that was an accomplishment for me, and I was surprised myself. So, the teacher played an old folk song for us, a traditional Spanish song to sing before the birthday person woke up for the morning. We were asked to sing back the song, following the lyrics written on the sheet. And like... was I the only one who actually sang for the song? Go figure, I know I'm in Choir, but even I wouldn't be that enthusiastic about such things--but seriously. The students around me--usually you get dull "noooo, I dunwanna do this" kinda singing and whatnot, but it's like... yeah. The kids aren't even trying. You couldn't even hear them. Hell, they even just sat around class and talked and giggled.
Wow, so much for me. I'm the only one who actually follows the assignment. So what if you can't sing? I would've done it anyway. Which lead me to wonder, 'cause I was suddenly reminded of infamous QoR fic Thrill of Defeat: where oh, it was more important and wonderful for Jessie to be James's Twu Wuv than grow up to be a nurse and do wonderful things and, you know... be good at something useful. I wanted to blurt this out loud for all the brats to hear: ( Excuse My Blunt TMI, But I'm Not Sugar-Coating My Thoughts )
Of course, that would result in the class laughing and making fun of me, (And going "OOOOOOH! REFERAAAAALLL" and stuff like that) and I'd especially be in trouble with the teacher wether or not I had the guts to say the striked comment, although I know for certain I'm not... crass like that. Yeah. Ye gods, my language. I think I'll scare people I care about like this. See what I mean about "growing up too fast"?
I know I'm not clear enough... but at least NIN keeps me sane.
