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shamanicshaymin) wrote2014-06-17 02:55 am
shamanicshaymin) wrote2014-06-17 02:55 am
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Gonna be copy-pasting from chat, minus nametags.
...It finally happened. Mom and Dad may get a divorce.
Basically, my Dad became friends with a patient of his named Jenny. Somewhere along the way, they fell in love, but they agreed not to have a sexual relationship. Annnnnnnnnnnd Mom just found out about it.
To be honest, I saw the divorce coming. I've wanted to get away from Mom for a long time, and I'd take Dad with me because she's been doing a number on his mental health. I just don't know what the hell is going to happen. Dad and I know that Mom won't be able to take care of herself. My brother is likely to stay with her and he has a job now, but he won't make enough to be able to support her. And there's no way my relatives will put up with her. Mom's been constantly berating and verbally abusing us for years (my brother and maybe my sister is the only one she still has a good relationship with), but she can't support herself.
I told Dad that Jimmy and I have an open relationship. And now Mom knows too. Initially, I wasn't going to tell her because then she'd go "So THAT'S why he hasn't been seeing you! He's been with another girl!" and use it against me next time we fight by railing on that he doesn't really care for me (1. Jimmy's been getting ready for a con in Dallas. 2. He's probably afraid to visit me because he doesn't want to get involved with Mom's drama or her fights with Dad) With those reasons, I understand why Dad didn't tell Mom about Jenny. (That, and he didn't want Mom to threaten her) Dad obviously still loves Mom. He's very concerned about her health and doesn't want to leave her by herself, even after all their fights and her constantly belittling and triggering his PTSD. That's why he's stayed with her, because they've been together for years and years before her mental illness took over her personality. He has never, ever, cheated on her in their whole marriage. And there's a HUGE difference between cheating and loving more than one person.
Anyway, I was trying to defend Dad by bringing up my open relationship, and she's convinced Jimmy isn't sincere though I tell her he's been nothing but. She says that what goes on between me and Jimmy is none of her business, but that from now on, he should wear a condom for my own safety (Yeah, as if he totally isn't an intelligent and responsible guy who doesn't know what he's doing) Jimmy's been honest with me since Day 1. If he had feelings for another person, he tells me. And Jimmy and I talked to each other in great length about it. I know he loves my best friend Aspen as much as he loves me, and there's a girl he likes too. Jimmy, Aspen and I are like a trio. An OT3 where Aspen is my moirail and Jimmy is my matesprit. When I told Dad that, he said, "And now, I think I finally understand that."
I want to stay with Dad and Jimmy, but we don't know what's going to happen to Mom. Or me and Dad, for that matter. It seems the longer I stay with my family, the worse things get. I don't know when I'll be able to move in with Aspen in Portland, though. If it doesn't seem likely anytime soon, Dad's thinking of getting an apartment for me. Though if you're a close friend and you want to offer me a temporary place to stay, I'd humongously appreciate it. *hug*
Nice to know that my life keeps getting kicked in the balls.
Basically, my Dad became friends with a patient of his named Jenny. Somewhere along the way, they fell in love, but they agreed not to have a sexual relationship. Annnnnnnnnnnd Mom just found out about it.
To be honest, I saw the divorce coming. I've wanted to get away from Mom for a long time, and I'd take Dad with me because she's been doing a number on his mental health. I just don't know what the hell is going to happen. Dad and I know that Mom won't be able to take care of herself. My brother is likely to stay with her and he has a job now, but he won't make enough to be able to support her. And there's no way my relatives will put up with her. Mom's been constantly berating and verbally abusing us for years (my brother and maybe my sister is the only one she still has a good relationship with), but she can't support herself.
I told Dad that Jimmy and I have an open relationship. And now Mom knows too. Initially, I wasn't going to tell her because then she'd go "So THAT'S why he hasn't been seeing you! He's been with another girl!" and use it against me next time we fight by railing on that he doesn't really care for me (1. Jimmy's been getting ready for a con in Dallas. 2. He's probably afraid to visit me because he doesn't want to get involved with Mom's drama or her fights with Dad) With those reasons, I understand why Dad didn't tell Mom about Jenny. (That, and he didn't want Mom to threaten her) Dad obviously still loves Mom. He's very concerned about her health and doesn't want to leave her by herself, even after all their fights and her constantly belittling and triggering his PTSD. That's why he's stayed with her, because they've been together for years and years before her mental illness took over her personality. He has never, ever, cheated on her in their whole marriage. And there's a HUGE difference between cheating and loving more than one person.
Anyway, I was trying to defend Dad by bringing up my open relationship, and she's convinced Jimmy isn't sincere though I tell her he's been nothing but. She says that what goes on between me and Jimmy is none of her business, but that from now on, he should wear a condom for my own safety (Yeah, as if he totally isn't an intelligent and responsible guy who doesn't know what he's doing) Jimmy's been honest with me since Day 1. If he had feelings for another person, he tells me. And Jimmy and I talked to each other in great length about it. I know he loves my best friend Aspen as much as he loves me, and there's a girl he likes too. Jimmy, Aspen and I are like a trio. An OT3 where Aspen is my moirail and Jimmy is my matesprit. When I told Dad that, he said, "And now, I think I finally understand that."
I want to stay with Dad and Jimmy, but we don't know what's going to happen to Mom. Or me and Dad, for that matter. It seems the longer I stay with my family, the worse things get. I don't know when I'll be able to move in with Aspen in Portland, though. If it doesn't seem likely anytime soon, Dad's thinking of getting an apartment for me. Though if you're a close friend and you want to offer me a temporary place to stay, I'd humongously appreciate it. *hug*
Nice to know that my life keeps getting kicked in the balls.
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though depending on how temporary it is, i'll see what i can arrange. surely dad wouldn't mind you being here for a week or three.But god, that just sounds really awful. I'm sorry, sweetie. :(
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Maybe about a month? Basically enough time for me to get a job so I'll be able to earn enough money so Aspen and I could afford to care for each other at his place.It really sucks. :( *cling*
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I wish I could offer help. D:
...I won't lie, I'm glad that your mom's decided to cut herself loose (more oxygen for the rest of you), but... damn, what a time for this to happen. D: Best of luck to you and your father.
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