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shamanicshaymin) wrote2005-12-28 01:08 pm
shamanicshaymin) wrote2005-12-28 01:08 pm
(no subject)
...Okay. Now that I'm back from the dentist, and obviously 10 billion times calmed down, let me explain some things.
First of all, I am NOT directing my 100% rage and anger at anyone playing "Phoenix Wright". The reason I mentioned it in my post was because people get into all kinds of games lately, with the good ones suddenly coming out late 2005, stuff I'm actually interested in, and here I was, sick in bed, unable to do a thing because my head hurt too bloody much to carry a DS. Everyone was caught up in something I was behind in, something I was missing from... I felt isolated and left out, not being able to play AC: WW online and whatnot. You know how testy I get when it comes to my friends and wanting to stay close to them.
'Cause mainly when I try to play games/join teams with someone IRL, they've already finished the game and become bored, or they see me, ignore me, and leave me to play by myself... when obviously, I needed someone to play with, someone who was interested, actually wanted to play with me. Here's an example:
Me: *sees cousins* Ooh! I wanna play darts! :D
Cousins: Sorry, we already started a game. :(
Me: ...
Cousins: We can start next game, though!
Me: Yay! :D *next game takes forever*
*next game*
Me: Okay, let's go! :D
*turns out the game was only between two players: me and a cousin, 'cause everyone else had grown bored. And the person I was playing against also alternated between pool with her uncle* *game eventually ended not even half-way 'cause cousin forgot about her*
Me: ...
*sigh* And you guys will misinterpret that and say my cousins are meanies when they aren't. Let's try another, older example...
Me: *six-year-old* *sees boys playing basketball in the playground and tries to join them*
Boys: You can't play! :o
Me: But I want to... :o
Boys: You're no good.
Me: Am not! I'm really good!
So, the boys let me play, on one condition: I didn't exist, and I played against myself. In other words, alone.
People wonder why I never liked sports, 'cause people wanted nothing to do with me and picked me close to last as possible when it came to teams. No matter how far I kick the ball at kick ball, no matter how fast I ran at baseball, they only notice if I've screwed up. Hence, they consider me a bad player and give me more reasons to feel further like scum when I actually wasn't.
It's this... lonliness that gets to me whenever people are in a group gathering that hey, I can join too. I don't want to be the kid that comes late and causes the group to disperse like Moses's Stick in the Red Sea or something.
All in all, I'm actually upset by "Sonic" shipping issues again. If somehow liking one pairing because it's "most respectable to canon", your ship is "original" and "wonderful" and dubious of clichés and badfic, making YOU a step higher (aka more royal and mature and "smarter") than the scum that is the Character A/Character C shipper (being me), you can just go and bite your shiny metal ass.
I'm not angry at "Phoenix Wright", I'm not angry at its supporters. Nothing at all. It's aaaaaaaaaaaaaaall to do with the shipping world from an entirely different fandom.
Probably still haven't made myself clear, and... it's just been horrible. I obviously want to be left alone, but it doesn't seem to be happening IRL right now, which is stressing me out and pushing my buttons further, making it worse instead of helping me recover. Other than that, I did manage to nab the last copy of "Animal Crossing: Wild World" from Game Krazy. That's all I want to do: play AC. I don't want the dog whining at me for a walk, I don't want to be snapped to do the dishes, I don't want to put groceries away, I don't want to think about school, I don't want to think where that stupid-key-we've-ignored-for-monthsbutOMGIT'SIMPORTANTNOW is, I need REST. As in, space. Sleep.
I don't want to think of anything. Except to build my town.
First of all, I am NOT directing my 100% rage and anger at anyone playing "Phoenix Wright". The reason I mentioned it in my post was because people get into all kinds of games lately, with the good ones suddenly coming out late 2005, stuff I'm actually interested in, and here I was, sick in bed, unable to do a thing because my head hurt too bloody much to carry a DS. Everyone was caught up in something I was behind in, something I was missing from... I felt isolated and left out, not being able to play AC: WW online and whatnot. You know how testy I get when it comes to my friends and wanting to stay close to them.
'Cause mainly when I try to play games/join teams with someone IRL, they've already finished the game and become bored, or they see me, ignore me, and leave me to play by myself... when obviously, I needed someone to play with, someone who was interested, actually wanted to play with me. Here's an example:
Me: *sees cousins* Ooh! I wanna play darts! :D
Cousins: Sorry, we already started a game. :(
Me: ...
Cousins: We can start next game, though!
Me: Yay! :D *next game takes forever*
*next game*
Me: Okay, let's go! :D
*turns out the game was only between two players: me and a cousin, 'cause everyone else had grown bored. And the person I was playing against also alternated between pool with her uncle* *game eventually ended not even half-way 'cause cousin forgot about her*
Me: ...
*sigh* And you guys will misinterpret that and say my cousins are meanies when they aren't. Let's try another, older example...
Me: *six-year-old* *sees boys playing basketball in the playground and tries to join them*
Boys: You can't play! :o
Me: But I want to... :o
Boys: You're no good.
Me: Am not! I'm really good!
So, the boys let me play, on one condition: I didn't exist, and I played against myself. In other words, alone.
People wonder why I never liked sports, 'cause people wanted nothing to do with me and picked me close to last as possible when it came to teams. No matter how far I kick the ball at kick ball, no matter how fast I ran at baseball, they only notice if I've screwed up. Hence, they consider me a bad player and give me more reasons to feel further like scum when I actually wasn't.
It's this... lonliness that gets to me whenever people are in a group gathering that hey, I can join too. I don't want to be the kid that comes late and causes the group to disperse like Moses's Stick in the Red Sea or something.
All in all, I'm actually upset by "Sonic" shipping issues again. If somehow liking one pairing because it's "most respectable to canon", your ship is "original" and "wonderful" and dubious of clichés and badfic, making YOU a step higher (aka more royal and mature and "smarter") than the scum that is the Character A/Character C shipper (being me), you can just go and bite your shiny metal ass.
I'm not angry at "Phoenix Wright", I'm not angry at its supporters. Nothing at all. It's aaaaaaaaaaaaaaall to do with the shipping world from an entirely different fandom.
Probably still haven't made myself clear, and... it's just been horrible. I obviously want to be left alone, but it doesn't seem to be happening IRL right now, which is stressing me out and pushing my buttons further, making it worse instead of helping me recover. Other than that, I did manage to nab the last copy of "Animal Crossing: Wild World" from Game Krazy. That's all I want to do: play AC. I don't want the dog whining at me for a walk, I don't want to be snapped to do the dishes, I don't want to put groceries away, I don't want to think about school, I don't want to think where that stupid-key-we've-ignored-for-monthsbutOMGIT'SIMPORTANTNOW is, I need REST. As in, space. Sleep.
I don't want to think of anything. Except to build my town.