Puri (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
shamanicshaymin) wrote2010-05-12 10:00 am
shamanicshaymin) wrote2010-05-12 10:00 am
Entry tags:
Writer's Block: School Daze
[Error: unknown template qotd]
Middle school? All of it. The one positive thing I know is that I never have to go through those 3-4 years of hell ever again.
Children are little shits. Especially when they're at the age to know better but they proceed to torment others anyway because they think it's funny.
Teaching is what people go for because Nazism is no longer a profession. How in the world did everyone else around me get so many good teachers and role-models. I've known a few I liked, but only three changed my life and made an impact on me for the better. The rest I've forgotten entirely and some others, well... how did other people get so lucky to have so many wonderful teachers that it makes it hard for me to relate to them? Mine usually treated me like I was invisible, even when other kids have stomped my consciousness to tears.
Elementary school was fun. I loved school back then. But I got to middle and it all changed. High school was boring. Just a way to feel smug because you're smarter than everyone else and you're bound to go somewhere better. But that "somewhere better" aka "university" turns around to smack you in the face and have you feel like you know nothing at all, subtly humiliating you until you've lost all sleep and pride. Too many goddamn contradictions. "Grades don't matter" yet I'll never get into the course I want if I don't have sufficient credits. "Take it easy and enjoy college life" when you have to study constantly and work on that paper or else you'll never get a good grade and be able to "take it easy" like you're supposed to. So many goddamn lies and false hopes. If I had known that I'd never take Creative Writing or enter any of the courses that looked interesting to me (again, I can't have fun or have any freedom unless I have credits!), would I still go back to my second year in hopes I'll do better?
What a disgrace I am.
Proof that I learn better by educating myself alone.
You can say my view of school has been colored since then. Yes.
Middle school? All of it. The one positive thing I know is that I never have to go through those 3-4 years of hell ever again.
Children are little shits. Especially when they're at the age to know better but they proceed to torment others anyway because they think it's funny.
Teaching is what people go for because Nazism is no longer a profession. How in the world did everyone else around me get so many good teachers and role-models. I've known a few I liked, but only three changed my life and made an impact on me for the better. The rest I've forgotten entirely and some others, well... how did other people get so lucky to have so many wonderful teachers that it makes it hard for me to relate to them? Mine usually treated me like I was invisible, even when other kids have stomped my consciousness to tears.
Elementary school was fun. I loved school back then. But I got to middle and it all changed. High school was boring. Just a way to feel smug because you're smarter than everyone else and you're bound to go somewhere better. But that "somewhere better" aka "university" turns around to smack you in the face and have you feel like you know nothing at all, subtly humiliating you until you've lost all sleep and pride. Too many goddamn contradictions. "Grades don't matter" yet I'll never get into the course I want if I don't have sufficient credits. "Take it easy and enjoy college life" when you have to study constantly and work on that paper or else you'll never get a good grade and be able to "take it easy" like you're supposed to. So many goddamn lies and false hopes. If I had known that I'd never take Creative Writing or enter any of the courses that looked interesting to me (again, I can't have fun or have any freedom unless I have credits!), would I still go back to my second year in hopes I'll do better?
What a disgrace I am.
Proof that I learn better by educating myself alone.
You can say my view of school has been colored since then. Yes.