Puri (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
shamanicshaymin) wrote2019-09-28 05:22 am
shamanicshaymin) wrote2019-09-28 05:22 am
Entry tags:
Let's Watch: Nostalgia Critic - The Wall (Part 1)
Me: So… the Nostalgia Critic has reviewed “The Wall.” Let me guess. Is it 30 minutes of him going “OMG so weird and pretentious!!1!” while completely missing the very obvious points the movie made and thinking the abuse and brutality is over-the-top and couldn’t possibly be based off real life? (Random Randy Newman bashing optional) On one hand, I have to see for myself what a trainwreck this review is, but on the other… there’s no way I can do it alone.
(lightbulb flashes above her head)
I know! I’ll get three video game characters to watch with me! Yuri from Doki Doki Literature Club, versed in all matters of the grim, weird, and macabre! Cuphead, a cartoon cup whose determination and optimism will boost our morale and lighten things up! (Also because this movie wouldn’t be Mugsy’s taste) Finally Bendy, because he knows a thing or two about corrupt societies and people. Not to mention the struggles of addiction.
Yuri: (shy smile) Hello…
Bendy: (waves) Howdy!
Cuphead: We’re watching The Wall? How swell!
Me: Sort of. We’re watching the Nostalgia Critic mocking The Wall.
Bendy: (disheartened) What?
Yuri: But… but… The Wall is a good movie! Why is he making a review about how bad it is?
Me: We’ll see what he has to say. More than likely though, we’ll be shredding his review piece by piece. It’s been years since I’ve last watched the movie, but I’ve listened to the soundtrack multiple times and know a lot of the songs by heart, so the story and themes are still strong in my memory. We’re skipping all paid promotions and ads to save us time. The audience can follow along with the video here and each time mark represents a pause where we make commentary. No more delay… let’s tear down Critic's Wall!
(0:23)
Cuphead: Hey, an artistic shot of the latest hotel the Critic is staying at!
Yuri: Oh, there's Tamara Chambers.
(0:33 A sign says, "ROCK STAR PONDERING. DON’T YOU DARE F@#*KING KNOCK!)
Bendy: Isn't that a common trope in musical biopics in general?
Cuphead: Yeah, it's not like The Wall started it.
Me: Shh, you're interrupting Doug's angst. :P
(1:00)
Me: Who is this guy and why does he look like an emo version of Alex DeLarge?
Yuri: (shocked) Puri! That's Corey Taylor from Slipknot! His son is supposed to be in the review too, playing his younger self.
Me: I didn't know! I'm getting old. ;;
(1:02)
Cuphead: Pause it! We need to see what's on the Youtube page!
Yuri: So far, I don't see anything out of the ordinary... just that he watches a lot of Law & Order, MCU, and Saturday Night Live.
Bendy: And The Waterboy! I think that's a past NC review.
Me: If it is, I didn't see it. So I can't make a joke there.
Yuri: Of course, there's his own review of The Wall...
(1:07 "Hello I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don’t have to!”)
Me: Oh ho, we're getting meta here!
(1:27 "When [the movie] came out in 1982, it got mixed reviews and did only okay at the box office…")
Me: AND THIS IS WHERE WE FACT-CHECK. (dances to an imaginary theme)
Yuri: (tapping on her phone) According to Wikipedia: The film opened with a limited release on 6 August 1982 and entered at No. 28 of the US box office charts despite only playing in one theatre on its first weekend, grossing over $68,000, a rare feat even by today's standards. The film then spent just over a month below the top 20 while still in the top 30. The film later expanded to over 600 theatres on 10 September, achieving No. 3 at the box office charts, below E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, and An Officer and a Gentleman. The film eventually earned $22 million before closing in early 1983.
The film received generally positive reviews. Reviewing The Wall on their television programme At the Movies in 1982, film critics Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel gave the film "two thumbs up". Ebert described The Wall as "a stunning vision of self-destruction" and "one of the most horrifying musicals of all time ... but the movie is effective. The music is strong and true, the images are like sledge hammers, and for once, the rock and roll hero isn't just a spoiled narcissist, but a real, suffering image of all the despair of this nuclear age. This is a real good movie." Siskel was more reserved in his judgement, stating that he felt that the film's imagery was too repetitive. However, he admitted that the "central image" of the fascist rally sequence "will stay with me for an awful long time."
In February 2010, Roger Ebert added The Wall to his list of "Great Movies," describing the film as "without question the best of all serious fiction films devoted to rock. Seeing it now in more timid times, it looks more daring than it did in 1982, when I saw it at Cannes ... It's disquieting and depressing and very good."
Cuphead: So it did pretty good! Even Siskel and Ebert liked it!
Me: Entering into the Top 30 despite limited release? Damn, that's impressive. And doing well even against E.T.! Poor Secret of NIMH couldn't stand against E.T.
Yuri: Where Doug got tripped up was Rotten Tomatoes gave it 68% out of 25 critic reviews... but Rotten Tomatoes is terrible for basing reviews off of for films that came out before the site was even born.
Bendy: Exactly! Nobody had IMDB or Rotten Tomatoes to check if a movie was good or not! You need to look to the papers, not the site!
Cuphead: Papers? C'mon Bendy, that's for baby boomers! And toons from the 1920s like us!
Me: Strike 1 Doug, and we're only a minute in!
(1:31 "Many saw it as too pretentious and full of itself, saying…")
Me: Psst! Hey Critic, you're supposed to be talking about the critics' reviews of The Wall, not your own! In fact, their biggest criticism about the film tends to be that it’s too gloomy!
(1:35 Entering Musical Mode! “It was just before dusk, one dark weekend evening while on your way home...”)
Me: ...Uh oh.
Bendy: (frowns) It’s one of those episodes, is it?
Me: The ones where NC re-enacts the movie? Yeeeeeeeeah…
(1:45 "When all the critics told you Pink Floyd’s The Wall was shite, and you thought it was kind of all right...”)
Me: They did not think it was shit! Stop doubling down on false information!
Bendy: Wait a minute. Does Critic think Pink, our main protagonist, is angsting because everyone hates his music? ‘Cause um… that’s not what he’s upset about. At all.
Yuri: Let’s keep watching…
(1:58 [cue spinning negative reviews of The Wall])
Cuphead: Haha! Those look fake!
Yuri: They do look Photoshopped to me... you can't even read the critics' names.
Me: If not Photoshopped, then they're clearly cherry-picked. :P
(2:10 "The art house ego trip had fallen then slipped to the bargain bin for $3.93…")
Me: The Wall for $3.93? That's a steal! I had to get my DVD online for what? $20? $19? That'd be like if I found the blu-ray for Belladonna of Sadness at a K-Mart!
Yuri: I wish my local discount stores had rare movies like that…
Me: Seriously. Take me to that magic time where you could easily find copies of The Wall movie for cheap even in the middle of nowhere.
(2:27)
Cuphead: Just knock the door already, Tamara!
Me: Man, I wonder when we're going to hear the first notes of "In the Flesh?"...
(2:32)
Me: YES! FINALLY
(2:55)
Me: I don't care about the series of random bizarro imagery like Spongebob or NC smashing the TV. I'm too busy listening in bliss to glorious Pink Floyd~ <3
(3:32 “Been a long time since you've seen Pink Floyd's The Wall...”)
Me: Hey, you're not Pink Floyd! >(
(4:04 "If you want to find out what's behind this weird shit // You'll first have to figure if it's lame or legit!")
Yuri: ...Is Critic really trying to imitate Roger Waters?
Bendy: This is going to go down as well as Johnny Depp doing the fudderwacken.
(4:24)
Me: We only see it for a split second, but NC CGI'd as the screaming face was legit kinda clever.
(4:51 "Good old Pink Floyd made a movie devoid of even the slightest subtlety...")
Yuri: Like this?
Bendy: And yet, he still won't get it…
Cuphead: You know what they say! Some anvils need to be dropped.
(5:03 "The production was fancy but way too damn angsty for adults to take seriously...")
Bendy: (mild huff) Yes, being abused at a British boarding school, then sent off to war, then you come home with massive PTSD that no one gives you proper care for so you medicate yourself with dangerous drugs, driving away your wife and mom and shutting yourself off from anyone who cared about you beyond being just a machine to perform music for them... yeah, there's no possible way adults could relate to that!
(5:56 "[Rock stars] all dreamed just like Floyd, most of them falling into the void! (The void!) // That's why I watch, despite it being so whiny!")
Cuphead: He went there. He actually went there. He called Pink, a drug-addicted mentally ill man with PTSD "whiny."
Me: Look, there are so many better characters that word applies for. You have all these fictional entitled rock stars out there, but you chose Pink, the guy who actually does have legitimate problems.
Yuri: I mean, Pink doesn’t make good decisions and he does some horrible things, but none of this is romanticized like Critic is implying.
Cuphead: This is more like, “Being a Rock Star Sucks: The Movie.”
(6:10)
Bendy: Watch out! Don’t let the creepypastas eat you!
(6:23 “The boy fancies himself a musician!” “Hee hee hee hee hee!”)
Me: Oh boy. Incoming bitchy rant ahead. Let’s finish the scene first.
Cuphead: I don’t remember a bunch of giggling drones at Pink’s school. Wasn’t everyone a stick in the mud there? Weren’t you punished for even smiling?
Bendy: Yep…
(6:32 “We don’t need no education?” “Hee hee hee hee hee!” “Well, that's grammatically incorrect, so, apparently, you do need some education.”)
Me: Pssst! Sherlock! The imperfect grammar is the point!
Cuphead: The kids ain’t grammatically correct on purpose to piss off their teachers!
(6:59 “Sex ed!” [giggle crew looks disgusted] “Oh, that's right. You have letters that say you don't need to learn that.”)
Me: Whoooo, US centric humor! But it’s true, my country’s education system sucks in its own way. :/
(7:06 “Do you laugh at everything?”)
Bendy: Even he admits the giggle squad is annoying.
(7:15 ”Well, anyway, continue to act like the oppressed. And me, the oppressor. Rock albums seem to really eat that shit up.”)
Yuri: (boggled) I-I... did you miss the parts where students were whipped and hit with a ruler!? They’re only kids!
Bendy: Does Critic think the punk movement started because some spoiled teens weren’t allowed awake past their bedtime? Has every song about racism, fascism, police brutality, and the failure of the government to look after its own people gone in one ear and out the other? Old fogeys called rock n’ roll “the Devil’s music” for a reason and it’s not just because of the sound!
(7:29 "Welcome to high school, where all the teachers are monsters. I know they look like they want to teach you something, but they don't! They just want to eat you up, because we're evil, bloodsucking vampire things! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!")
Me: Critic. Critic Critic Critic. I know your cozy white American cismale life can’t comprehend it, but I got something to tell you. You might believe it’s an exaggeration, but Pink’s childhood school memories were based on something real. British boarding schools were exactly like this. British culture is still bearing the scars of those schools, and “Another Brick in the Wall Part 2” covers what is, unfortunately, a common experience for British schoolchildren. To brush this all off as simply lazy rebellious students demonizing teachers is ignorant.
Don’t think women are safe from this either. Rule of Rose takes place in a not-so-distant past in an orphanage filled with mostly girls, and their horrible bullying and cruelty were passed on to them by their rotten caretakers.
Yuri: The Critic better stay away from Rule of Rose!
Me: Don't worry, video games aren't his expertise, you'll be fine.
(7:39 "There are no good teachers! Not one, not even by accident!")
Yuri: ...I don’t think Doug ever had a bad teacher in his entire life.
Me: Yeah, as a victim of an abusive school system, it’s Pink’s responsibility to remind us that ~*~good teachers exist too uwuuuu~*~
(7:50 [an article called “18 reasons why the US education system is failing” appear])
Me: Again: British. School system. Americans and Britains are not synonymous!
(8:01 "This is pandering like hell...")
Yuri: To who!?
Bendy: To use an American example, this is like calling out police brutality and replying by saying that it’s “pandering” to black people!
(8:07 “Remember that one teacher who seemed cool? He wasn't! He was all part of the plan!”)
Me: You know what’s ironic? Critic has the same reaction to this as Pink’s teachers would. You know the butterfly meme? The butterfly is grievances against the British school system, the man is Pink's headmaster, and the subtitle reads, “Is this anti-teachers?”
Yuri: “You’re against abuse in schools? You must be against education in general!”
(8:12 "HEY! WHO CARES?! All this bitching sells!")
Cuphead: Awww, Critic just described his career!
(8:17 “Remember that one teacher who seemed really kind and gave you candy?”)
Me: That... is a terrible example.
Yuri: Sorry to bring up Rule of Rose again... but Dr. Hoffman molested one of the girls, and her trauma is represented through the hardest boss in the game, the Mermaid Princess. It’s implied he was grooming another girl too.
Bendy: So... sexual abuse! Another problem in British boarding schools!
(8:35 "LOL, so school sucks. Grow a damn pair of balls.")
Cuphead: Yeah, all that whipping and ruler smacking and molesting and bullying... abuse builds character!
(8:45 "It’s all part of my secret plan to make sure you get a job when you are older!")
Me: Woooooow, now Critic is failing so hard he fails at American problems too. No matter how good my teachers are, I can’t get a job in this recession no matter how hard I try. =)
Cuphead: Boomers know best! Doesn’t matter if the entire working world has changed, surely you’d be handed a job on a silver platter too!
(9:48 Blah blah 90s commercials are mini documentaries blah)
Bendy: I can’t understand anything the choir kids are singing. Which is saying something, ‘cause I got a pretty good ear!
Me: So... when are they going to show the kids walking into the meat grinder? That’s kinda the most memorable part of this sequence, just sayin’.
(10:38 “Wait, time out. Is this really a World War II reference?” “No, it's just a bunch of kids being herded onto a train to a horrible tortures building-- (realizes) Ohhh.” “Yeah, we're really comparing this to high school?”)
Me: HE SKIPPED THE MEAT GRINDER SEQUENCE. WTF
Yuri: The movie is not comparing high school to the Holocaust! The meat grinder is a metaphor for how children are herded, exploited, and ultimately made into tools and consumption by the toxic school system!
Me: If NC reviewed Mawaru Penguindrum, he’d leave out the Child Broiler entirely.
(10:57 "Oh, come on! They're just saying school sucks! They're not making any connections to that. Now let's go on to the next song that talks about the horrors of World War II-- Oh, crap" "See?" "It's just a coincidence! Maybe. I don't know.”)
Cuphead: ...Is he sure he watched the movie?
Me: THOSE WAR REFERENCES WERE DELIBERATE, YOU DUMBASS. THEY HAVE BEEN SINCE WE LEARNED PINK’S DAD DIED IN THE WAR
(11:25 [A black bird labeled “Ego” flies over a doll labeled “Self-Content”])
Me: Ohhhhh this hurrrrrts... why oh why can’t I be looking at Gerald Scarfe’s gorgeous and chilling animation right now?
(11:25 "D-D-Doesn’t this seem too heavy?")
Everyone: No?
Yuri: The original animation shows just how deep the consequences of war run... you feel those deaths, you feel those graves. But Doug isn’t showing any of it. No clips, no nothing.
(12:02 "Is World War II with monsters too silly?")
Yuri: Not to Japan. In fact, Godzilla represented the atom bomb and the fallout of nuclear radiation and how it continues to harm our society. The first movie is considered a masterpiece of Japanese cinema, so much he’s become a campy mascot.
Cuphead: And everyone loves Godzilla!
(12:13 "Oh, Roger Waters, did you ever wonder why these images of slaughter made it in a film that also sings about how high school bites?")
Me: Yes. He put a lot of thought into this indeed.
Yuri: The symbolism is obvious if you only just paid attention.
(12:28 [After the “My Problems” cloud rains on sunflowers labeled “Pity,” it strikes dead a lightning cloud that says, “Other People’s Problems.”])
Me: That haunting image of the British flag breaking like pieces of glass over a cross, soaking it with fresh dripping blood? That’s not political commentary, that’s just Pink having 1st World Problems.
(12:52 "Sooooo long, Oscar Bait song!" [flashes image of an Oscar])
Me: No... no... no... no. You did NOT just reduce “Goodbye Blue Sky” to an alcnehrlfsbvrkvbstggsghh
Bendy: That song was written and released long before the movie! Does Critic forget that The Wall was first an entire album when it's convenient for him?
Yuri: Well, the joke is on him. Roger Waters won the BAFTA award for Best Original Song! He got it for “Another Brick in the Wall.”
(13:23 "Dude, I don't know what to think while watching that." "Good! That means we're brilliant. Now, I'm gonna go to a slow, slow mopey song." "Haven't we had enough of those?" "Yeah, but we have had several of them back-to-back, so that'll really mix things up.")
Bendy: Isn’t that staying consistent with the tone?
Me: (as Critic) "Another song about revolution in Les Miserables? You gotta be kidding me!"
(13:30 “Watch how I do a sad song about being cheated on.” “So, you're going from World War II, one of the worst things to ever happen...” “...to bitching about your girlfriend cheating on you?” “Hey, it doesn't matter how I'm pained, as long as I'm torturously pained.” “Sounds pretty douchey, man.” “Yeah, pretty douchey.”)
Me: Again, everything that happened in the war had an impact on Pink. His PTSD led to a strained relationship with his wife, which eventually led to her cheating on him. It’s not that hard to connect two and two together.
Cuphead: I may not be the smartest cup, and I don’t know everything about Roger Waters and Syd Barrett, but even I can tell the war is still important to the story and it has something to do with what’s happening to Pink now!
(13:43 "Hey, if someone doesn't like my artistic dive into madness caused by an affair..." "You mean like The Room?" "No." "Yes." "Shut up.")
Bendy: At least The Room is funny! But still. The Room and The Wall aren't even comparable!
Yuri: If only Pink had it so simple... that’s like saying Sayaka Miki fallen because she couldn’t get together with Kyousuke. Like the affair for Pink, it was a catalyst for Sayaka pushed by many many pieces that kept piling up to push her over the edge.
(14:02 “Hey, so you invited me up here. What you want to do?”)
Me: Huh, he skipped “Mother.” Guess some things are too sacred for him to touch.
Bendy: Critic is going to forget Pink had an overprotective mom and flip out over her appearing in The Trial “out of nowhere,” you’ll see!
(14:10 "I'm a successful musician with millions! How can you expect me to be happy?")
Me: (pained grin) Ask Kurt Cobain... or Chester Bennington... you know, it’s strange no one mocks Linkin Park anymore. I can’t possibly imagine why... ah ha... ah ha... ah ha ha ha ha...
Yuri: Sayori told me the worst part of depression is that you can be the luckiest and most successful person on earth and still be miserable and take no pleasure in anything. Privilege actually makes it worse, because then you feel you shouldn’t be like this and are just being whiny when everyone else is doing worse, which makes it harder to admit you need help.
Me: Hit the nail on the head...
(14:34 “I’M JESUS I’M JESUS”)
Me: Whoa whoa whoa! Critic complained about this being nothing but a mopefest, but he skips one of the more traditional rock-n-roll numbers “Young Lust?” I get there’s Youtube guidelines to follow regarding sex, but if Cinema Snob can get creative with his censors, why can’t he?
Cuphead: Nothing to say about the random shirtless Critic fanservice? :p
Me: Not really. XD
Yuri: I’m actually kind of relieved Critic skipped the part where Pink lashed out at the groupie he invited and scared her off. “Don’t Leave Me Now” brings back some unpleasant memories of... me at my worst.
Bendy: ...You too, huh?
(Yuri and Bendy hug)
(14:48 [Corey falls asleep])
Me: Lucky bastard. :P
(15:05 "Is there anybody who cares?")
Everybody: Zzzzzz...
(15:23 "Wake up! Are you still awake in that chair?")
Bendy: Oh! We reached "Comfortably Numb..." How will Critic mess it up this time?
(15:53 "Ah, shit! He's watching the boring parts of The Wall. Wake him up!")
Me: Dammit Brad, you’re too good for this review. :/
Cuphead: What's boring about hallucinating worms eating your brain!?
(16:04 ”Just half an hour more... c’mon, you’ve gone through worse.”)
Bendy: Wait! He’s... actually right!
Me: I know what to expect from the Critic at this point. This is bad, but this isn't like say... the Sailor Moon review. I'm not touching that one with a ten-foot-pole.
Yuri: Natsuki was furious for weeks after watching that. She tore apart everything he got wrong about Sailor Moon and Sayori had to calm her down to stop ranting about it online.
Bendy: Between this review of The Wall and DigiBro’s take on Revolutionary Girl Utena, which would you rather watch?
Me: ...Nostalgia Critic. Yeah.
(16:47 [It scans over a screencap of Pink about to drop his dead rat in the river])
Cuphead: Ouch, it’s a good thing Werner Werman hasn't seen the original movie. The whole thing would be rough for him, but this part would take the cake.
(17:13 “Iiiiiiiiiiiiii have become comfortably dumb!”)
Me: Funnily enough, this describes my exact mood. I got pissed off at NC at the beginning, but as his hate letter to The Wall drags on, I’m just... numb. I burnt out all my anger during "Another Brick in the Wall" and "Goodbye Blue Sky." This part hardly feels worth summoning energy over, I said what I wanted to say already.
(17:29 "You want to seem cooooooooooool, but this ain’t getting your kicks.")
Cuphead: He skipped the best part of the song! You know, when Pink screams as he’s getting injected?
Me: I know, I love that part! D:
Yuri: ”Okay... just a little pinprick... there’ll be no more—“
Cuphead & Bendy: ”OOOOOWWWWWWwwwwww~!”
Yuri: ”But you may feel a little sick!”
(17:46 ”When did I become so lame?”)
Yuri: ...Don’t answer that.
Bendy: Ooooooh! Harsh!
(19:14 [Corey is finally dragged out of the room and onto a cold steel floor])
Bendy: Corey in the review has it lucky compared to Pink. He doesn’t need to be saved from an overdose and he doesn't claw his decaying skin off his face! He just had to wake up from a nap.
(19:24 ”This is why I bring people that I don't want other people to see. Now sober up, or have an existential conflict! Either works for me.”)
Me: Ahhh, Brad. Shine on you crazy diamond. ;D
(20:09)
Cuphead: Wait. We’re only halfway in the review!?
To be continued...
(lightbulb flashes above her head)
I know! I’ll get three video game characters to watch with me! Yuri from Doki Doki Literature Club, versed in all matters of the grim, weird, and macabre! Cuphead, a cartoon cup whose determination and optimism will boost our morale and lighten things up! (Also because this movie wouldn’t be Mugsy’s taste) Finally Bendy, because he knows a thing or two about corrupt societies and people. Not to mention the struggles of addiction.
Yuri: (shy smile) Hello…
Bendy: (waves) Howdy!
Cuphead: We’re watching The Wall? How swell!
Me: Sort of. We’re watching the Nostalgia Critic mocking The Wall.
Bendy: (disheartened) What?
Yuri: But… but… The Wall is a good movie! Why is he making a review about how bad it is?
Me: We’ll see what he has to say. More than likely though, we’ll be shredding his review piece by piece. It’s been years since I’ve last watched the movie, but I’ve listened to the soundtrack multiple times and know a lot of the songs by heart, so the story and themes are still strong in my memory. We’re skipping all paid promotions and ads to save us time. The audience can follow along with the video here and each time mark represents a pause where we make commentary. No more delay… let’s tear down Critic's Wall!
(0:23)
Cuphead: Hey, an artistic shot of the latest hotel the Critic is staying at!
Yuri: Oh, there's Tamara Chambers.
(0:33 A sign says, "ROCK STAR PONDERING. DON’T YOU DARE F@#*KING KNOCK!)
Bendy: Isn't that a common trope in musical biopics in general?
Cuphead: Yeah, it's not like The Wall started it.
Me: Shh, you're interrupting Doug's angst. :P
(1:00)
Me: Who is this guy and why does he look like an emo version of Alex DeLarge?
Yuri: (shocked) Puri! That's Corey Taylor from Slipknot! His son is supposed to be in the review too, playing his younger self.
Me: I didn't know! I'm getting old. ;;
(1:02)
Cuphead: Pause it! We need to see what's on the Youtube page!
Yuri: So far, I don't see anything out of the ordinary... just that he watches a lot of Law & Order, MCU, and Saturday Night Live.
Bendy: And The Waterboy! I think that's a past NC review.
Me: If it is, I didn't see it. So I can't make a joke there.
Yuri: Of course, there's his own review of The Wall...
(1:07 "Hello I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don’t have to!”)
Me: Oh ho, we're getting meta here!
(1:27 "When [the movie] came out in 1982, it got mixed reviews and did only okay at the box office…")
Me: AND THIS IS WHERE WE FACT-CHECK. (dances to an imaginary theme)
Yuri: (tapping on her phone) According to Wikipedia: The film opened with a limited release on 6 August 1982 and entered at No. 28 of the US box office charts despite only playing in one theatre on its first weekend, grossing over $68,000, a rare feat even by today's standards. The film then spent just over a month below the top 20 while still in the top 30. The film later expanded to over 600 theatres on 10 September, achieving No. 3 at the box office charts, below E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, and An Officer and a Gentleman. The film eventually earned $22 million before closing in early 1983.
The film received generally positive reviews. Reviewing The Wall on their television programme At the Movies in 1982, film critics Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel gave the film "two thumbs up". Ebert described The Wall as "a stunning vision of self-destruction" and "one of the most horrifying musicals of all time ... but the movie is effective. The music is strong and true, the images are like sledge hammers, and for once, the rock and roll hero isn't just a spoiled narcissist, but a real, suffering image of all the despair of this nuclear age. This is a real good movie." Siskel was more reserved in his judgement, stating that he felt that the film's imagery was too repetitive. However, he admitted that the "central image" of the fascist rally sequence "will stay with me for an awful long time."
In February 2010, Roger Ebert added The Wall to his list of "Great Movies," describing the film as "without question the best of all serious fiction films devoted to rock. Seeing it now in more timid times, it looks more daring than it did in 1982, when I saw it at Cannes ... It's disquieting and depressing and very good."
Cuphead: So it did pretty good! Even Siskel and Ebert liked it!
Me: Entering into the Top 30 despite limited release? Damn, that's impressive. And doing well even against E.T.! Poor Secret of NIMH couldn't stand against E.T.
Yuri: Where Doug got tripped up was Rotten Tomatoes gave it 68% out of 25 critic reviews... but Rotten Tomatoes is terrible for basing reviews off of for films that came out before the site was even born.
Bendy: Exactly! Nobody had IMDB or Rotten Tomatoes to check if a movie was good or not! You need to look to the papers, not the site!
Cuphead: Papers? C'mon Bendy, that's for baby boomers! And toons from the 1920s like us!
Me: Strike 1 Doug, and we're only a minute in!
(1:31 "Many saw it as too pretentious and full of itself, saying…")
Me: Psst! Hey Critic, you're supposed to be talking about the critics' reviews of The Wall, not your own! In fact, their biggest criticism about the film tends to be that it’s too gloomy!
(1:35 Entering Musical Mode! “It was just before dusk, one dark weekend evening while on your way home...”)
Me: ...Uh oh.
Bendy: (frowns) It’s one of those episodes, is it?
Me: The ones where NC re-enacts the movie? Yeeeeeeeeah…
(1:45 "When all the critics told you Pink Floyd’s The Wall was shite, and you thought it was kind of all right...”)
Me: They did not think it was shit! Stop doubling down on false information!
Bendy: Wait a minute. Does Critic think Pink, our main protagonist, is angsting because everyone hates his music? ‘Cause um… that’s not what he’s upset about. At all.
Yuri: Let’s keep watching…
(1:58 [cue spinning negative reviews of The Wall])
Cuphead: Haha! Those look fake!
Yuri: They do look Photoshopped to me... you can't even read the critics' names.
Me: If not Photoshopped, then they're clearly cherry-picked. :P
(2:10 "The art house ego trip had fallen then slipped to the bargain bin for $3.93…")
Me: The Wall for $3.93? That's a steal! I had to get my DVD online for what? $20? $19? That'd be like if I found the blu-ray for Belladonna of Sadness at a K-Mart!
Yuri: I wish my local discount stores had rare movies like that…
Me: Seriously. Take me to that magic time where you could easily find copies of The Wall movie for cheap even in the middle of nowhere.
(2:27)
Cuphead: Just knock the door already, Tamara!
Me: Man, I wonder when we're going to hear the first notes of "In the Flesh?"...
(2:32)
Me: YES! FINALLY
(2:55)
Me: I don't care about the series of random bizarro imagery like Spongebob or NC smashing the TV. I'm too busy listening in bliss to glorious Pink Floyd~ <3
(3:32 “Been a long time since you've seen Pink Floyd's The Wall...”)
Me: Hey, you're not Pink Floyd! >(
(4:04 "If you want to find out what's behind this weird shit // You'll first have to figure if it's lame or legit!")
Yuri: ...Is Critic really trying to imitate Roger Waters?
Bendy: This is going to go down as well as Johnny Depp doing the fudderwacken.
(4:24)
Me: We only see it for a split second, but NC CGI'd as the screaming face was legit kinda clever.
(4:51 "Good old Pink Floyd made a movie devoid of even the slightest subtlety...")
Yuri: Like this?
Bendy: And yet, he still won't get it…
Cuphead: You know what they say! Some anvils need to be dropped.
(5:03 "The production was fancy but way too damn angsty for adults to take seriously...")
Bendy: (mild huff) Yes, being abused at a British boarding school, then sent off to war, then you come home with massive PTSD that no one gives you proper care for so you medicate yourself with dangerous drugs, driving away your wife and mom and shutting yourself off from anyone who cared about you beyond being just a machine to perform music for them... yeah, there's no possible way adults could relate to that!
(5:56 "[Rock stars] all dreamed just like Floyd, most of them falling into the void! (The void!) // That's why I watch, despite it being so whiny!")
Cuphead: He went there. He actually went there. He called Pink, a drug-addicted mentally ill man with PTSD "whiny."
Me: Look, there are so many better characters that word applies for. You have all these fictional entitled rock stars out there, but you chose Pink, the guy who actually does have legitimate problems.
Yuri: I mean, Pink doesn’t make good decisions and he does some horrible things, but none of this is romanticized like Critic is implying.
Cuphead: This is more like, “Being a Rock Star Sucks: The Movie.”
(6:10)
Bendy: Watch out! Don’t let the creepypastas eat you!
(6:23 “The boy fancies himself a musician!” “Hee hee hee hee hee!”)
Me: Oh boy. Incoming bitchy rant ahead. Let’s finish the scene first.
Cuphead: I don’t remember a bunch of giggling drones at Pink’s school. Wasn’t everyone a stick in the mud there? Weren’t you punished for even smiling?
Bendy: Yep…
(6:32 “We don’t need no education?” “Hee hee hee hee hee!” “Well, that's grammatically incorrect, so, apparently, you do need some education.”)
Me: Pssst! Sherlock! The imperfect grammar is the point!
Cuphead: The kids ain’t grammatically correct on purpose to piss off their teachers!
(6:59 “Sex ed!” [giggle crew looks disgusted] “Oh, that's right. You have letters that say you don't need to learn that.”)
Me: Whoooo, US centric humor! But it’s true, my country’s education system sucks in its own way. :/
(7:06 “Do you laugh at everything?”)
Bendy: Even he admits the giggle squad is annoying.
(7:15 ”Well, anyway, continue to act like the oppressed. And me, the oppressor. Rock albums seem to really eat that shit up.”)
Yuri: (boggled) I-I... did you miss the parts where students were whipped and hit with a ruler!? They’re only kids!
Bendy: Does Critic think the punk movement started because some spoiled teens weren’t allowed awake past their bedtime? Has every song about racism, fascism, police brutality, and the failure of the government to look after its own people gone in one ear and out the other? Old fogeys called rock n’ roll “the Devil’s music” for a reason and it’s not just because of the sound!
(7:29 "Welcome to high school, where all the teachers are monsters. I know they look like they want to teach you something, but they don't! They just want to eat you up, because we're evil, bloodsucking vampire things! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!")
Me: Critic. Critic Critic Critic. I know your cozy white American cismale life can’t comprehend it, but I got something to tell you. You might believe it’s an exaggeration, but Pink’s childhood school memories were based on something real. British boarding schools were exactly like this. British culture is still bearing the scars of those schools, and “Another Brick in the Wall Part 2” covers what is, unfortunately, a common experience for British schoolchildren. To brush this all off as simply lazy rebellious students demonizing teachers is ignorant.
Don’t think women are safe from this either. Rule of Rose takes place in a not-so-distant past in an orphanage filled with mostly girls, and their horrible bullying and cruelty were passed on to them by their rotten caretakers.
Yuri: The Critic better stay away from Rule of Rose!
Me: Don't worry, video games aren't his expertise, you'll be fine.
(7:39 "There are no good teachers! Not one, not even by accident!")
Yuri: ...I don’t think Doug ever had a bad teacher in his entire life.
Me: Yeah, as a victim of an abusive school system, it’s Pink’s responsibility to remind us that ~*~good teachers exist too uwuuuu~*~
(7:50 [an article called “18 reasons why the US education system is failing” appear])
Me: Again: British. School system. Americans and Britains are not synonymous!
(8:01 "This is pandering like hell...")
Yuri: To who!?
Bendy: To use an American example, this is like calling out police brutality and replying by saying that it’s “pandering” to black people!
(8:07 “Remember that one teacher who seemed cool? He wasn't! He was all part of the plan!”)
Me: You know what’s ironic? Critic has the same reaction to this as Pink’s teachers would. You know the butterfly meme? The butterfly is grievances against the British school system, the man is Pink's headmaster, and the subtitle reads, “Is this anti-teachers?”
Yuri: “You’re against abuse in schools? You must be against education in general!”
(8:12 "HEY! WHO CARES?! All this bitching sells!")
Cuphead: Awww, Critic just described his career!
(8:17 “Remember that one teacher who seemed really kind and gave you candy?”)
Me: That... is a terrible example.
Yuri: Sorry to bring up Rule of Rose again... but Dr. Hoffman molested one of the girls, and her trauma is represented through the hardest boss in the game, the Mermaid Princess. It’s implied he was grooming another girl too.
Bendy: So... sexual abuse! Another problem in British boarding schools!
(8:35 "LOL, so school sucks. Grow a damn pair of balls.")
Cuphead: Yeah, all that whipping and ruler smacking and molesting and bullying... abuse builds character!
(8:45 "It’s all part of my secret plan to make sure you get a job when you are older!")
Me: Woooooow, now Critic is failing so hard he fails at American problems too. No matter how good my teachers are, I can’t get a job in this recession no matter how hard I try. =)
Cuphead: Boomers know best! Doesn’t matter if the entire working world has changed, surely you’d be handed a job on a silver platter too!
(9:48 Blah blah 90s commercials are mini documentaries blah)
Bendy: I can’t understand anything the choir kids are singing. Which is saying something, ‘cause I got a pretty good ear!
Me: So... when are they going to show the kids walking into the meat grinder? That’s kinda the most memorable part of this sequence, just sayin’.
(10:38 “Wait, time out. Is this really a World War II reference?” “No, it's just a bunch of kids being herded onto a train to a horrible tortures building-- (realizes) Ohhh.” “Yeah, we're really comparing this to high school?”)
Me: HE SKIPPED THE MEAT GRINDER SEQUENCE. WTF
Yuri: The movie is not comparing high school to the Holocaust! The meat grinder is a metaphor for how children are herded, exploited, and ultimately made into tools and consumption by the toxic school system!
Me: If NC reviewed Mawaru Penguindrum, he’d leave out the Child Broiler entirely.
(10:57 "Oh, come on! They're just saying school sucks! They're not making any connections to that. Now let's go on to the next song that talks about the horrors of World War II-- Oh, crap" "See?" "It's just a coincidence! Maybe. I don't know.”)
Cuphead: ...Is he sure he watched the movie?
Me: THOSE WAR REFERENCES WERE DELIBERATE, YOU DUMBASS. THEY HAVE BEEN SINCE WE LEARNED PINK’S DAD DIED IN THE WAR
(11:25 [A black bird labeled “Ego” flies over a doll labeled “Self-Content”])
Me: Ohhhhh this hurrrrrts... why oh why can’t I be looking at Gerald Scarfe’s gorgeous and chilling animation right now?
(11:25 "D-D-Doesn’t this seem too heavy?")
Everyone: No?
Yuri: The original animation shows just how deep the consequences of war run... you feel those deaths, you feel those graves. But Doug isn’t showing any of it. No clips, no nothing.
(12:02 "Is World War II with monsters too silly?")
Yuri: Not to Japan. In fact, Godzilla represented the atom bomb and the fallout of nuclear radiation and how it continues to harm our society. The first movie is considered a masterpiece of Japanese cinema, so much he’s become a campy mascot.
Cuphead: And everyone loves Godzilla!
(12:13 "Oh, Roger Waters, did you ever wonder why these images of slaughter made it in a film that also sings about how high school bites?")
Me: Yes. He put a lot of thought into this indeed.
Yuri: The symbolism is obvious if you only just paid attention.
(12:28 [After the “My Problems” cloud rains on sunflowers labeled “Pity,” it strikes dead a lightning cloud that says, “Other People’s Problems.”])
Me: That haunting image of the British flag breaking like pieces of glass over a cross, soaking it with fresh dripping blood? That’s not political commentary, that’s just Pink having 1st World Problems.
(12:52 "Sooooo long, Oscar Bait song!" [flashes image of an Oscar])
Me: No... no... no... no. You did NOT just reduce “Goodbye Blue Sky” to an alcnehrlfsbvrkvbstggsghh
Bendy: That song was written and released long before the movie! Does Critic forget that The Wall was first an entire album when it's convenient for him?
Yuri: Well, the joke is on him. Roger Waters won the BAFTA award for Best Original Song! He got it for “Another Brick in the Wall.”
(13:23 "Dude, I don't know what to think while watching that." "Good! That means we're brilliant. Now, I'm gonna go to a slow, slow mopey song." "Haven't we had enough of those?" "Yeah, but we have had several of them back-to-back, so that'll really mix things up.")
Bendy: Isn’t that staying consistent with the tone?
Me: (as Critic) "Another song about revolution in Les Miserables? You gotta be kidding me!"
(13:30 “Watch how I do a sad song about being cheated on.” “So, you're going from World War II, one of the worst things to ever happen...” “...to bitching about your girlfriend cheating on you?” “Hey, it doesn't matter how I'm pained, as long as I'm torturously pained.” “Sounds pretty douchey, man.” “Yeah, pretty douchey.”)
Me: Again, everything that happened in the war had an impact on Pink. His PTSD led to a strained relationship with his wife, which eventually led to her cheating on him. It’s not that hard to connect two and two together.
Cuphead: I may not be the smartest cup, and I don’t know everything about Roger Waters and Syd Barrett, but even I can tell the war is still important to the story and it has something to do with what’s happening to Pink now!
(13:43 "Hey, if someone doesn't like my artistic dive into madness caused by an affair..." "You mean like The Room?" "No." "Yes." "Shut up.")
Bendy: At least The Room is funny! But still. The Room and The Wall aren't even comparable!
Yuri: If only Pink had it so simple... that’s like saying Sayaka Miki fallen because she couldn’t get together with Kyousuke. Like the affair for Pink, it was a catalyst for Sayaka pushed by many many pieces that kept piling up to push her over the edge.
(14:02 “Hey, so you invited me up here. What you want to do?”)
Me: Huh, he skipped “Mother.” Guess some things are too sacred for him to touch.
Bendy: Critic is going to forget Pink had an overprotective mom and flip out over her appearing in The Trial “out of nowhere,” you’ll see!
(14:10 "I'm a successful musician with millions! How can you expect me to be happy?")
Me: (pained grin) Ask Kurt Cobain... or Chester Bennington... you know, it’s strange no one mocks Linkin Park anymore. I can’t possibly imagine why... ah ha... ah ha... ah ha ha ha ha...
Yuri: Sayori told me the worst part of depression is that you can be the luckiest and most successful person on earth and still be miserable and take no pleasure in anything. Privilege actually makes it worse, because then you feel you shouldn’t be like this and are just being whiny when everyone else is doing worse, which makes it harder to admit you need help.
Me: Hit the nail on the head...
(14:34 “I’M JESUS I’M JESUS”)
Me: Whoa whoa whoa! Critic complained about this being nothing but a mopefest, but he skips one of the more traditional rock-n-roll numbers “Young Lust?” I get there’s Youtube guidelines to follow regarding sex, but if Cinema Snob can get creative with his censors, why can’t he?
Cuphead: Nothing to say about the random shirtless Critic fanservice? :p
Me: Not really. XD
Yuri: I’m actually kind of relieved Critic skipped the part where Pink lashed out at the groupie he invited and scared her off. “Don’t Leave Me Now” brings back some unpleasant memories of... me at my worst.
Bendy: ...You too, huh?
(Yuri and Bendy hug)
(14:48 [Corey falls asleep])
Me: Lucky bastard. :P
(15:05 "Is there anybody who cares?")
Everybody: Zzzzzz...
(15:23 "Wake up! Are you still awake in that chair?")
Bendy: Oh! We reached "Comfortably Numb..." How will Critic mess it up this time?
(15:53 "Ah, shit! He's watching the boring parts of The Wall. Wake him up!")
Me: Dammit Brad, you’re too good for this review. :/
Cuphead: What's boring about hallucinating worms eating your brain!?
(16:04 ”Just half an hour more... c’mon, you’ve gone through worse.”)
Bendy: Wait! He’s... actually right!
Me: I know what to expect from the Critic at this point. This is bad, but this isn't like say... the Sailor Moon review. I'm not touching that one with a ten-foot-pole.
Yuri: Natsuki was furious for weeks after watching that. She tore apart everything he got wrong about Sailor Moon and Sayori had to calm her down to stop ranting about it online.
Bendy: Between this review of The Wall and DigiBro’s take on Revolutionary Girl Utena, which would you rather watch?
Me: ...Nostalgia Critic. Yeah.
(16:47 [It scans over a screencap of Pink about to drop his dead rat in the river])
Cuphead: Ouch, it’s a good thing Werner Werman hasn't seen the original movie. The whole thing would be rough for him, but this part would take the cake.
(17:13 “Iiiiiiiiiiiiii have become comfortably dumb!”)
Me: Funnily enough, this describes my exact mood. I got pissed off at NC at the beginning, but as his hate letter to The Wall drags on, I’m just... numb. I burnt out all my anger during "Another Brick in the Wall" and "Goodbye Blue Sky." This part hardly feels worth summoning energy over, I said what I wanted to say already.
(17:29 "You want to seem cooooooooooool, but this ain’t getting your kicks.")
Cuphead: He skipped the best part of the song! You know, when Pink screams as he’s getting injected?
Me: I know, I love that part! D:
Yuri: ”Okay... just a little pinprick... there’ll be no more—“
Cuphead & Bendy: ”OOOOOWWWWWWwwwwww~!”
Yuri: ”But you may feel a little sick!”
(17:46 ”When did I become so lame?”)
Yuri: ...Don’t answer that.
Bendy: Ooooooh! Harsh!
(19:14 [Corey is finally dragged out of the room and onto a cold steel floor])
Bendy: Corey in the review has it lucky compared to Pink. He doesn’t need to be saved from an overdose and he doesn't claw his decaying skin off his face! He just had to wake up from a nap.
(19:24 ”This is why I bring people that I don't want other people to see. Now sober up, or have an existential conflict! Either works for me.”)
Me: Ahhh, Brad. Shine on you crazy diamond. ;D
(20:09)
Cuphead: Wait. We’re only halfway in the review!?
To be continued...