Puri (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
shamanicshaymin) wrote2011-06-02 07:09 pm
shamanicshaymin) wrote2011-06-02 07:09 pm
Entry tags:
My thought process: Puri sucks.
I get my first letter from Long Ridge regarding my first assignment. My first opportunity for success, and what do I do? Freak out. Because all I can think about is "You get a chance to go forward like you've always dreamed of! WATCH AS YOU FUCK IT UP AND FAIL AT THE LAST POSSIBLE MINUTE."
My god. When has my confidence in myself shot so downhill? When have I become so terrified of success? Because I think I'll have every opportunity, no matter how small, to completely waste it due to my own shortcomings?
This is not a good attitude to have, I know. But lately, all I can feel is, "You're screwed." It's like the only thing I can believe about myself is criticism. That every negative thing said about me is true. Augh gagahg. I don't even. Just what's up with me?
My god. When has my confidence in myself shot so downhill? When have I become so terrified of success? Because I think I'll have every opportunity, no matter how small, to completely waste it due to my own shortcomings?
This is not a good attitude to have, I know. But lately, all I can feel is, "You're screwed." It's like the only thing I can believe about myself is criticism. That every negative thing said about me is true. Augh gagahg. I don't even. Just what's up with me?