I love the American Voices section of the Onion. XD

Columbine the Video Game! What do YOU think?
Gay Cowboy Film Buzz
Shark Gives Virgin Birth
Study: Bullies Enjoy Pain Of Others
Harry Potter Nude
Robert Pattinson Hit By Taxicab

Have some more Onion peelings~

Woman Married To Fat, Emotionally Distant Vampire Escapes Into 'Twilight' Novels
New Terminator Movie Brings J.D. Salinger Out Of Hiding
Bunch Of Phonies Mourn J.D. Salinger
J.K. Rowling Hints At Harry Potter Date Rape