I know the feeling. I talk about 2000-2001!Sara and her mania about Sailor Moon fandom and Kunzite/Zoisite, but in 2003-2004 I got into the Sorcerer Hunters fandom and was obsessed with fitting in even though I badly wanted to do my own thing. So I was constantly going "is it okay that I like x ship better than y, that I love this character everyone's meh at best about, blah blah blah????" and it drove my friends CRAZY. Like I got called out on it a lot.
That said, I could tell you were on edge a lot in Sonic fandom, but I didn't think much of it because I was getting used to the fact that fandom could just be that way and drive people batty. We may long for the old days of the mid aughts when we look at purity culture and antis now, but back then we had fanficrants and Fandom Secrets.
I'm glad you were able to apologize to and make up with that artist, though. Anxiety sucks. :( And so does feeling guilty for shit your younger self did.
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That said, I could tell you were on edge a lot in Sonic fandom, but I didn't think much of it because I was getting used to the fact that fandom could just be that way and drive people batty. We may long for the old days of the mid aughts when we look at purity culture and antis now, but back then we had fanficrants and Fandom Secrets.
I'm glad you were able to apologize to and make up with that artist, though. Anxiety sucks. :( And so does feeling guilty for shit your younger self did.