I was prompted by the recent sporking of a ponyfic over at Das Sporking where it starred an Anti-Sue that was made fun of all her life for having a boring color scheme. It had so much potential for a riff, especially when you think about all the first-world-problems the Anti-Sue has. ("I'm a red pony with a black mane, which means I'm colorful compared to gray or brown ponies, but I'm still an outcast and so dull-looking, waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!") But nope. The sporker rarely focuses on that, and instead bitches about the awful spelling and grammar. I can understand being angry in a sporking, but an Anti-Sue being moronic because her friends don't like her for being the "real me" (despite the fact that said friends only know her through her disguise, so of course they don't know the "real" her) hardly justifies the capslock frothing vein-popping rage as much as say, Christian Grey victim-blaming Ana after he beat her for rolling her eyes at him, then justifying it with his Tragic Past and excuses like "I'm a man, I can't help it!"

All I remember is someone making a masticate vs. masturbate rant on an ancient post at fanficrants. ("Masticate is what Harry does to his salad. Masturbate is what Harry does to Draco. Be careful not to mix that up.") Lots of funny jokes were made in the comments. XD ("Salad: "OH YES!" Draco: OH NO! DDD:")