shamanicshaymin: Pit bull hiding in the leaves. :3 (Pitties :: Hiding in the Leaves)
Me: (checks her LJ/DW and notices she accidentally posted an unfinished snippet from a smut RP) WHOOPS

It's gone now. It was a graphic snippet too. Auuuuuugh. My sincere apologies for anyone who saw that. ._.;;;;
shamanicshaymin: Being meguca is suffering. (Mami :: Grief)
You know, I love everybody in Undertale. All except one. No, it's not Jerry.

Warning: this rant will be about abusive relationships and be angry and contain a lot of swearing. And spoilers. Lots and lots of spoilers.

Spoilers for Undertale's True Ending and Genocide Route. )
shamanicshaymin: Quote from Napstablook from Undertale (Spooky :: Grr)
Pokemon, Digimon, Yu-Gi-Oh, Sailor Moon, Utena, Madoka, etc: *writes and draws smut featuring aged-up versions of characters who are canonically kids or teenagers in the show/games/etc.*
Fandom Police: ...
Undertale: *does the same thing*
Fandom Police: OMG DISGUSTING!!1!1! AGING THEM UP DOES NOTHING TO COVER THE FACT THAT YOU ARE A FUCKING PEDOPHILE!!11!11

Seriously. Grow the fuck up.
shamanicshaymin: Quote from Napstablook from Undertale (Madotsuki :: Blood on Her Hands)
I don't know when I'm loading the Realmscon photos, since I don't have a cable for my phone yet. So instead, let's talk about Undertale.

I did both peace and genocide runs. I'm going to go indeph in spoilers into this, and Undertale is the kind of game you should NOT be spoiled for. So... play it first, okay? Then come back and hear me cry.

Inside the labyrinth walls, there lies a tiny child who sleeps alone )

And this child I will destroy if you try to set her free )

I recommend playing the peace run, then if you're wondering THAT much about the genocide route, you can play it up to a point... THEN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP AND RESET BEFORE YOU FACE ASGORE. That way, you'll get all the extra dialogue about what you've done that round for the next playthrough, but still have a chance to redeem yourself. You can always watch the genocide ending on Youtube. Listen to people when they say personally beating the genocide run will ruin the best ending forever. Not just in a metaphorical/psychological sense. It literally WILL.
shamanicshaymin: Quote from Napstablook from Undertale (Nanami :: WTF)
I have no sympathy for Cosby apologists, especially when they insist on his innocence (even after he directly admitted he drugged and raped women) because "WEEEEEEEH HE WAS PART OF MY CHILDHOOOOOD!!11!1" Gee, your poor precious childhood is ruined. What about the women who suffered for years because of this dickbag? For all I know, a few of them may have been literally raped by their childhood.

Quick story time: When Jimmy and I were watching LPs of Ao Oni, I commented that the monster himself looked like Bill Cosby. So we called him "Blu(e) Cosby."

Talk about Harsher in Hindsight, huh?
shamanicshaymin: Quote from Napstablook from Undertale (Nanami :: WTF)
I was clearly too optimistic last post. 'Cause now I remember WHY we've never succeeded in making our house look "normal" and clean enough to invite neighbors over.

Me: *dumps a bunch of garbage-looking papers in a bag*
Dad: OMG THOSE PAPERS MIGHT BE IMPORTANT DON'T MIX THEM NOW I HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE ENTIRE BAG
Bag: *sits there and is never checked, so it becomes a part of the house's mess*

And he yells at me if I've already thrown the bag out.

What's the fucking point? Every little scrap of paper is apparently of ~*~enormous significance~*~ and something important will be OMG LOST FOREVER if it's thrown out. So if I'm sorting papers the "wrong way" by mixing what could be "important" papers with "garbage," I'll just get lectured and yelled at by Dad. Mom does the same thing, and her room is the most impossible place to clean in our garbage heap of a home.

No wonder we never get anything fucking finished. No wonder this house will never get clean.
shamanicshaymin: Quote from Napstablook from Undertale (Toadette :: OMG)
"Does Mr. Roger's know you're at a party again?" He smirks.
"Mr. Rogers?" I don't get it.
"Your boyfriend. He is the biggest square I have even seen”


Don't you dare bring up Mr. Rogers like that, you miserable ball of slime. He's a million times more the man you'll ever be, Mr. Totally-Not-Overcompensating-With-My-New-Name Hardin.

“Don't talk about him like that, he is.. he is.. nice" I stutter.

Harry laughs and I stand up. He doesn't know Noah at all. "You could only dream of being as nice as he is" I snap.

“Nice? That's the first word that comes to your mind when talking about your boyfriend? Nice is your 'nice' way of calling him boring."


Yeah, a boy who actually treats girls like they're human beings? How dull.

“He isn't boring, you don't know him”
"I know that he is boring. I could tell by his cardigan and loafers"

Harry's head rolls back in laughter and I can't ignore his dimples.


While we're at it, let's make assumptions about people from the way they dress.

“He doesn't wear loafers" I say and cover my mouth so I don't laugh with him at my boyfriend's expense.

You can go to hell too, Tessa.

I grab the water and take a drink.

"Well he has been dating you for two years and hasn't fucked you yet, I would say he is a square.”




It's too bad there's no complete sporkings of this series. It's the only fucking way I can get anywhere near this thing. At least I can take comfort in the fact the published version flopped abysmally.

Meanwhile, I'm dealing with ableist bullshit at a comm I frequent. That's what happens when you're openly autistic on the Internet, I suppose. Whoopee.
shamanicshaymin: Quote from Napstablook from Undertale (Juri/Shiori :: So Um...)
Saw a picture of a guy with smallpox. Boy, I sure wanted to get those memories back. *hedgehog hiss forever*

Nobody should have to tell anyone to vaccinate their kids. It's like a no-brainer parenting rule.

If the apocalypse happens, it's because anti-vaxxers unleashed a new strain of smallpox too powerful for our regular vaccines that wiped out the entire population. THANKS GUYS. YOU ARE IDIOTIC MURDERERS AND I HATE YOU WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING.

Believe your children are too "special" and "pure" to be vaccinated? I hope you go to a special Hell where you'll be writhing from smallpox. Enjoy having what looks like little red bugs infesting your skin. This is what science has worked so hard for centuries to save the world from. And you're undoing their precious work. This is treason.

I hate you more than I hate parents who bring screaming children to R-rated movies. At least they merely annoy people, instead of killing them.

Not only is it proven again and again and AGAIN that the "vaccinations cause autism" thing is deliberate fraud, you're ableist as fuck. You'd rather your kid be dead than be autistic.

I might argue that you're even worse than serial rapists and rapist apologists, and they're already high on my hate-list.

If you're an anti-vaxxer, get the fuck out of my sight. THINK for once in your life and put your children and humankind before your pride. May the powers that be strike you down before you have the chance to rip your children and the world into a million festering pieces.

If the world is infected by diseases that used to be preventable that have now mutated to the point where no cure is possible, it will be all your fucking fault.

Forget meteors and ice age and global warming. THIS is what the end of the world will look like.
shamanicshaymin: Quote from Napstablook from Undertale (Touga/Saionji :: Nice Hair)
Will Sylvain Reynard shut the fuck up about "Closer" from Nine Inch Nails? All she ever does is quote the "fuck you like an animal" line and act like it's the single most objectifying and sinful lyric in the universe. Never mind that Trent Reznor's written other sexually-charged songs and that "Reptile" is 100x more violent, degrading, and disturbing. Never mind that he wrote "Fragile," one of my favorite NIN songs and one of the wibbliest love songs ever. On the other hand, I totally see Reynard using "Fragile" as a way for Gabriel to compare it with Julia, and yuck. I actually hope it never comes up. Reynard already thinly alluded to Trent doing backup vocals for Tori Amos' "Past The Mission," and I don't want her to shit on more of my favorite bands and songs.

Everybody in this book other than Gabriel has better chemistry with Julia. Rachel was basically professing her love to Julia before she had to go on the plane. DON'T LEAVE ME RACHEL, YOU'RE THE ONE CHARACTER I DON'T FEEL LIKE STABBING A PIKE THROUGH *sobs*

It never ever goes through Julia's brain that her big nostalgic night with Gabriel was when he was drunk off his ass. Of COURSE he doesn't remember her! Why the fuck doesn't she tell him about the night at the apple orchard? Just say, "Hey, I don't think you remember me, but one time, we kissed at an apple orchard." It's not that fucking hard. Manufactured drama/Lack of Communication Kills like this does not increase the goddamn tension in romance novels; it just makes me think the characters are fucking stupid!

IhatethisbookIhatethisbookIhatethisbook

By the way, there's still four chapters open for anyone who wants to spork the book here. :D I might consider taking another chapter on, this book is pissing me off this much.

Edit: TW: Slut-shaming and tasteless use of eating disorders )
shamanicshaymin: Quote from Napstablook from Undertale (Toadette :: OMG)
I'm reading Gabriel's Inferno for a sporking project with Zelda Queen, and AUUUUUUUUGH it's the worst fucking book I've read since Fifty Shades. Though I think they piss me off equally so far. But god, Julia is an idiot and the writing is Tell-Don't-Show and there's slut-shaming and it loves to tease you with things that are Actually Interesting before immediately diving back into wangsty abusive bullshit. I FUCKING HATE EMERSON HE'S CHRISTIAN GREY 2.0 GOD WHAT A TEMPERAMENTAL SCUMBAG DICK HOW THE FUCK DOES HE STILL HAVE A JOB

That’s when he saw her. He stopped, staring across the street at the attractive brunette.

'Calamity Julianne.'

Except she was not alone. Paul was holding her abomination of a book bag and walking with her. They were chatting easily and laughing and strolling dangerously close to one another.

'Carrying her books now, are we? How very adolescent of you, Paul.'


Hear that? Everyday politeness = adolescence.

FUCK YOU EMERSON. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. *deep breaths* At least I only need to spork Chapter 16...
shamanicshaymin: Quote from Napstablook from Undertale (Homura :: Eet)
I may have to stay off tumblr for a while. Believe it or not, it's not because of sjws. It's just that everything happening in Ferguson right now and the utter failure of America to protect black people while celebrating their white murderers is nauseating.

This is the last straw.

America, please please please please please please PLEASE arrest this bastard.
shamanicshaymin: Quote from Napstablook from Undertale (Homura :: Eet)
Usually I hate ~*~white people suck~*~ posts, but this is important to read.

In a nutshell: Among voters, 94 percent of Black women, 90 percent of Black men, 61 percent of Latinas, and 49 percent of Latinos in Texas voted for Wendy Davis.

Meanwhile, just 32 percent of white Texas women who voted did so for Wendy Davis.

You’ll hear that Greg Abbott “carried” women voters in Texas. Anyone who says that is also saying this: that Black women and Latinas are not “women,” and that carrying white women is enough to make the blanket statement that Abbott carried all women. That women generally failed to vote for Wendy Davis. As if women of color are some separate entity, some mysterious other, some bizarre demographic of not-women.


wtf. I voted for Wendy Davis; why couldn't more than 32% of my own race do the same?

What's the point of having a democracy if the majority of the people are too stupid to think about the well-being of their own country? That is, when they're not sticking their heads in the sand and thinking only about themselves?
shamanicshaymin: Quote from Napstablook from Undertale (Luigi :: Sob)
Things I did NOT want to see on my dash while looking up the "chinchilla" tag: a gory picture of a flayed chinchilla.

GODDAMMIT I was trying to find cute chinchilla pictures and .gifs, and that was NOT something I wanted to see ghdsjkhdsjkgsgd. Why the hell isn't there a block button, gdshjgksdgdsg. I am well fucking aware of the horrible chinchilla coat business I DID NOT NEED TO FUCKING SEE THAT. Especially when I'm trying to show cute stuff to my Dad. Thank god he missed the picture at least.
shamanicshaymin: Quote from Napstablook from Undertale (Homura :: Eet)
Prejudice at Pride

WHAT PART OF LGBT DO THESE PEOPLE NOT UNDERSTAND!? For events that are supposed to be about "pride" and "acceptance," they're sure a bunch of hypocrites with their biphobia and racism.

As someone who's likely a gray ace (and someone who may be panromantic to boot), this hurts me on a personal level. Hell, even more so knowing that some of my closest friends in the world are bi, including my ex-boyfriend. It took so long for Jimmy to admit he was bi; I was so proud of him when he finally came out. This sort of bullshit is probably the million reasons why he's kept his mouth shut about it for so long. He'd be embarrassed and people would laugh at him and call him names. When homophobes aren't mocking him for being "unmanly" and cracking his self-esteem like an egg, biphobes will tell him to fuck off because he's "fake" or he "betrayed" them.

I'm literally crying.

PEOPLE ARE SCUM.
shamanicshaymin: Quote from Napstablook from Undertale (Madoka Magica :: Wiggedy Wack)
Gory dreams are the worst, because it feels like all those gruesome murders and explosions of blood and guts are happening in front of you like they would IRL as opposed to watching a movie. Then when you're the one being inflicted, you feel ALL of the pain. You feel yourself getting murdered and it's agonizing.

Couple this with reading about the yukkuri and fluffy pony sub-fandoms (Warning: it reads like you're reading a psychological profile of a misogynistic serial killer and rape apologist rather than a set of fandom rules) and Ket & Gehayi's latest 50 Shades post and I feel kind of dizzy.

In lighter news, "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" is a song I just realized totally fits Homura, especially after Rebellion.
shamanicshaymin: Quote from Napstablook from Undertale (Luigi :: Sob)
...It finally happened. Mom and Dad may get a divorce.

Basically, my Dad became friends with a patient of his named Jenny. Somewhere along the way, they fell in love, but they agreed not to have a sexual relationship. Annnnnnnnnnnd Mom just found out about it.

To be honest, I saw the divorce coming. I've wanted to get away from Mom for a long time, and I'd take Dad with me because she's been doing a number on his mental health. I just don't know what the hell is going to happen. Dad and I know that Mom won't be able to take care of herself. My brother is likely to stay with her and he has a job now, but he won't make enough to be able to support her. And there's no way my relatives will put up with her. Mom's been constantly berating and verbally abusing us for years (my brother and maybe my sister is the only one she still has a good relationship with), but she can't support herself.

I told Dad that Jimmy and I have an open relationship. And now Mom knows too. Initially, I wasn't going to tell her because then she'd go "So THAT'S why he hasn't been seeing you! He's been with another girl!" and use it against me next time we fight by railing on that he doesn't really care for me (1. Jimmy's been getting ready for a con in Dallas. 2. He's probably afraid to visit me because he doesn't want to get involved with Mom's drama or her fights with Dad) With those reasons, I understand why Dad didn't tell Mom about Jenny. (That, and he didn't want Mom to threaten her) Dad obviously still loves Mom. He's very concerned about her health and doesn't want to leave her by herself, even after all their fights and her constantly belittling and triggering his PTSD. That's why he's stayed with her, because they've been together for years and years before her mental illness took over her personality. He has never, ever, cheated on her in their whole marriage. And there's a HUGE difference between cheating and loving more than one person.

Anyway, I was trying to defend Dad by bringing up my open relationship, and she's convinced Jimmy isn't sincere though I tell her he's been nothing but. She says that what goes on between me and Jimmy is none of her business, but that from now on, he should wear a condom for my own safety (Yeah, as if he totally isn't an intelligent and responsible guy who doesn't know what he's doing) Jimmy's been honest with me since Day 1. If he had feelings for another person, he tells me. And Jimmy and I talked to each other in great length about it. I know he loves my best friend Aspen as much as he loves me, and there's a girl he likes too. Jimmy, Aspen and I are like a trio. An OT3 where Aspen is my moirail and Jimmy is my matesprit. When I told Dad that, he said, "And now, I think I finally understand that."

I want to stay with Dad and Jimmy, but we don't know what's going to happen to Mom. Or me and Dad, for that matter. It seems the longer I stay with my family, the worse things get. I don't know when I'll be able to move in with Aspen in Portland, though. If it doesn't seem likely anytime soon, Dad's thinking of getting an apartment for me. Though if you're a close friend and you want to offer me a temporary place to stay, I'd humongously appreciate it. *hug*

Nice to know that my life keeps getting kicked in the balls.
shamanicshaymin: Quote from Napstablook from Undertale (AVGN :: F-Bomb)
Anyone who refers to Sylvia Plath's poetry as "emo" will be strangled until their entire head turns blue.

tw: rant about depression, suicide, and ableism )
shamanicshaymin: Quote from Napstablook from Undertale (Luigi :: Sob)
So, um. I was bored. So I watched Puella Magi Madoka Magica: Rebellion last night.

I'll make this brief. Spoilers, of course. )

I need time to recover. I really, really do.

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shamanicshaymin: Quote from Napstablook from Undertale (Default)
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